Did you miss me? I know I’ve not blogged in a really, really long time and I can’t tell you how hard it is to jump back into writing. I was overseas on a post-CNY break and I think this was my longest hiatus so far. It’s really nice to finally slow down a little and I wish I could share what happened during this break and how some of the things I’ve experienced impacted me on a very personal level. I kid you not, but this hiatus I took was, in a way, life-changing and I returned from this break telling myself that I want to be a better, wiser person – but in my own Sean-esque way, of course.
I’m actually not someone who got to enjoy my life much although that being said, life is a lot better now compared to the past which I’m sure a lot of you can sort of guess.
I think I’ve said this many times and it’s also something that I am fully aware of, but I’m someone who can be very critical of others and I can be unempathetic at times. It’s not that I am a heartless, completely unempathetic person, but I’m someone who uses empathy very sparingly only when I feel the situation really calls for it.
I know for a fact that my sometimes overly-critical side is due to the environment I grew up in and still having to deal with some of the pain and trauma that still lingers. It is something I am fully aware of and have been taking steps to change ever since I severed ties with my family. The Will Smith slapping Chris Rock incident happened while I was overseas and it kind of drove a message home too.
The trip I took really helped because it really made me feel very grateful to be alive and to have made it this far. I never imagined I would cry for scenery but I did and it’s been a really long time since I felt so at peace.
I came back from my trip feeling like a changed person and, I hope, I am.
I was basically around nature – a lot of nature. I was surrounded by mountains, water, and the stars. While basking in the beauty of nature, I cannot help but be in awe of how our ancestors were able to develop Chinese metaphysics by merely observing these natural phenomena. It’s not just the Chinese sages, but sages from all other civilizations. It’s one of those trips that makes you feel like you’re in a different chapter in your life now. Indeed, I’m about to enter into a different chapter of my life because little do people know that 2022 is also the year where my 10-Year Phases change and I can’t help but wonder what it’s going to bring.
It’s been a while since I really took a break and really went out of my way to enjoy my time, spend time with my wife, and create new memories for the both of us. We were supposed to travel extensively after getting married at the end of 2019 but the pandemic happened so I can’t tell you how relieved we were to be able to get out of the country again. I am still in a rather relaxed mood and it has been a while since I was able to feel like that, and hence, I’m struggling really hard to think of something to write about.
Making Sense Of The Things We Go Through
There has been one topic I’ve been wanting to touch on for a while now but I didn’t get to, so now’s the time to get down to it. It’s also, in a way, my thank you letter for certain individuals whom I once wish I never met but am glad I got to.
Anyway, what I’m going to write about is nothing new and thematically this topic has been brought up many times albeit with a different angle and narrative. The title should make it clear enough what I wish to speak about, which is what happens to bad people, why they exist in our lives, and why we meet them. It is something that I often think about not just out of intellectual curiosity but also to make sense of the things that happen in not just my life, but the world. It’s a question that I never managed to get a satisfactory answer to until I became a practitioner and started to appreciate the laws of Yin & Yang. I don’t want to get into the macro-level things like why war has to take place or whatever because that is really beyond me. I’d just like to focus on our individual lives.
An additional reason why I’ve been wanting to talk about this topic as per the blog title is that I’ve been hearing a lot of redemption stories lately from returning clients who have stuck with me throughout the years. Naturally, this means these clients of mine have stepped into a positive 10-year phase (大运) which I cannot emphasize enough can be life-changing.
Stepping into a positive 10-year phase is something I talk a lot about and try and give people something to look forward to, but the truth is not many charts get to experience this because most 10-year phases are a mix of good and bad, or that the natal chart isn’t structured in a way that takes advantage of a positive 10-year phase.
The prologue to any redemption story is always an unpleasant one of betrayal, sin, and deceit. To put it generally, it will involve someone with a Category 4 chart as the antagonist, appearing in one’s life to mess it up and teach us a lesson.
I don’t wish to get overly philosophical for this post, so I’ll just put things down in very layman’s terms so that everyone can relate to them.
Before we move on, one thing I wish to point out is that you will notice that more and more of my blog posts will feel like they are interlinked with each other and that’s because they are. This blog you’re at is the philosophical blog and not my case studies/technical blog which I’ve separated, but what I’m saying is that the underlying philosophy in my posts will always be the same.
Boring? Perhaps. But if you find it boring, then make sure you’re the type that doesn’t complicate your life unnecessarily.
We Will All Meet Bad People At Some Point
I really, really don’t want to get into the discussion of what “bad” means because my previous blog posts have addressed this already. I only wish to reiterate that it’s sometimes not as simple as it appears because someone “bad” to you might be “good” to someone else and vice versa. Getting into the discussion of moral relativism is going to spin this post off into something completely different so I shall not digress. But I guess if you’re aware of the relative nature of duality and you know what it means to do the right thing at the right time, life will naturally push you towards the right places.
My blog post on why balance is important should give an idea of my views on how “bad” is defined in the eyes of Yin & Yang:
But perhaps for the sake of simplicity, let’s just assume “bad people” to mean those that are out to cheat, harm, and basically think the world revolves around their delusional self-grandiosity. If these sit still and don’t do anything, nothing actually happens, but no, these people tend to disrupt the balance and order of things and some of us end up the unfortunate victims of such people. Nickel Sage was the latest person who had the (dis)honour of ending up on my blog, so when I talk about “bad” people, he’s a really good example. To be clear, he wasn’t my client, but one of my clients did invest in him and I spoke about this in the post embedded above.
We all meet bad people at some point who seem to be unafraid of causing us harm and/or taking advantage of us. They can appear at any point in time and can be anyone – from your childhood well into your retirement, and they can be from acquaintances, your family, and even your spouse. Regardless of when and who we meet, we always go “Why the **** do we have to meet them?”
These parasites usually appear when we are undergoing a negative Elemental Phase and a negative Elemental Phase can occur at any point. Some of us are born into a negative Elemental Phase whereas others can encounter one only in their 30s to 40s, or even later. If it’s just an Annual Phase (流年), sure, these antagonists will be long gone when the year passes, but if one is undergoing a 10-Year Phase (大运), these people will crop up more often than not and they’ll be a persistent theme throughout the negative 10-Year Phase.
The fact that these antagonists become a theme in our lives does make it important for us to question why this is so and why it happens. I am sure everyone has their own explanations and conclusions that they find peace with.
I guess one thing I could say from my personal experience is that these people appear and stick around because we allow them to, but before anyone gets too harsh on themselves, no one is born wise or experienced that we know the right thing to do or people to avoid right from the get-go.
I’m not sure if this is the best way to put it so please bear with me: When one is going through a negative Phase, it basically means one’s BaZi chart becomes further imbalanced. When our BaZi charts are imbalanced, it simply means our lives and inner world are also imbalanced. These imbalances we have in our lives make us vulnerable to these individuals and it is our innate desire to feel balanced, loved, and validated, that makes us feel it’s OK to have such people around when it’s clearly not:
- Why do some people cling on to a toxic marriage that is obviously dysfunctional and downright abusive? It’s because the fear of being alone and unloved is greater than the pain of being in a dysfunctional family. There is a lack of self-love, yet, a craving for it.
- Why do some of us allow our toxic parents to ruin our happiness and have our lives revolve around them? It’s because we were not taught that a parent-child relationship also requires balance and that we should not sacrifice our sense of self and self-worth to appease their fragile ego or narcissism.
- Why do some people keep getting into failed business partnerships? Because we are not fully aware of our limitations and what the environment demands and doing business, for most people, is simply just to feed their own egos and feel important.
I say this all the time, but the need for balance is intrinsic in everything and I really mean everything, meaning the dynamics between you and everything else in your life, from the tangible to intangible, physical to emotional. Our inner-world needs to be balanced too. The sooner you realize this, the better decisions you’ll make for yourself and that includes the people you choose to keep around you.
Let me give everyone a real-life example and I kid you not, but I have clients whom I told will only find a romantic partner in 2026 but yet, have been coming back to me every year to screen potential partners since 2019 only for me to tell them this person they are seeing has a bad chart and is not the one. I don’t get it, but are people really that stupid to not know what a bloody calendar is? Or is a BaZi reading (from me) and the blog posts I wrote simply a joke to these people?
Why are these people so eager to find a romantic partner? It’s because they are feeling imbalanced internally. They are unable to be happy alone and it’s precisely the reason why they will never be able to find someone good because people who make good partners avoid people who don’t know how to be happy by themselves. The interesting thing is that these people are also the ones with the spouse-harming charts.
It’s really, really not rocket science.
What I’m trying to say is that it is this internal imbalance that we all have within ourselves that drives us toward certain decisions and sometimes these decisions end up inviting the wrong people into our lives and I’m not just referring to romantic relationships.
Feeling (Im)Balanced Internally & How This Shows Up In Life
Most of us don’t have top-notch BaZi charts and that is perfectly normal and fine. Statistically speaking, less than 1% are deemed top-notch. Even the best will not be deemed perfectly balanced because something that is perfectly balanced does not exist and it goes against the laws of reality.
Imbalance seeking balance is what drives changes in the state of things.
In nature, imbalance seeking balance basically results in the four seasons and weather. In human life, imbalance seeking balance basically makes us do some of the
stupid things we do, like marrying someone who is really, really hot, but is clearly a psychopathic narcissist, or deciding that one day you can tell your boss to go try and reproduce with him/herself and starting your own business.
I think what needs to be pointed out is that most of the time, a lot of the things we do are autopilot decisions and we are not fully aware whether these decisions are actually pushing our lives towards balance or, hopefully not, imbalance.
Any practitioner worth his or her salt will tell you that a good BaZi chart is a balanced one (unless it falls under special categories) and what we need to appreciate is what is it about these balanced charts that make their life different. The simplest way to put it is that they are internally very, very balanced individuals and they end up making much better decisions than most of us.
My clients with good charts make a lot of good decisions – trust me on that. They do things not to feed their ego, to fill a void, and not to blindly chase money and material possessions. My clients with the not-so-good charts make a lot of stupid decisions, naturally – definitely trust me on that.
If I were to bring in some technicals:
- Why is it strong Daymaster charts need Officer (官) ‘gods’ to appear? Because it teaches us restraint. That drive and ambitions need control and that it’s not always about us.
- Why do strong Daymaster charts with Officer ‘gods’ appearing need to avoid Output ‘gods’ like 食神 and 伤官？ Because after we are taught restraint, we need to understand why it’s needed and respect it instead of challenging it.
- Why is it that weak Daymaster charts need Resource ‘gods’ (印) to appear? Because if you have a weak character, and possess no wisdom or knowledge, you really can’t expect much from life.
If I really have to spell it out for those who don’t get what I mean, the ones with the balanced charts are the ones who:
- Do not crave to be in a relationship because they know how to be happy by themselves. As such, they don’t end up marrying psychopathic narcissists. They end up with someone equally balanced and both parties naturally uplift each other.
- Know exactly what they have to offer and am cognizant of their environment and what it demands. As such, they don’t end up starting a business with an extremely ridiculous business model with delusional dreams of early retirement.
- Draw healthy boundaries with people – be it with friends or even with family – and know when’s the right time to focus on self, and when’s the right time to deal with the nonsense of others.
The examples I can give can be endless so I’ll leave it to everyone’s imagination how else balance shows up in our lives.
“Virtue is the Golden Mean between two vices” as Aristotle said. The reason why I keep bringing the topic of balance up is that it is so easy to understand intellectually, but you’ll be surprised how many people simply can’t pull it off. The toxic Asian child-parent dynamic is a perfect example of how difficult it is to achieve balance because telling your parents to shut their trap is met with the threat of burning in hell.
The toxic Asian parent-child relationship is hell manifested on Earth.
A lot of people love to think their actions are wise and noble when it is not, because if your spouse pulls a knife on you 6 years into the marriage and goes on to abuse you for the next 20 years, or if your spouse is banging the maid, and you choose to stay in the marriage for the ‘sake of having a complete family’ – that’s not being noble. The thing I will never get is that these people are the ones who feel that they are wise, kind, and noble.
To me, that’s being an absolute, complete moron with no principles and self-respect.
Don’t Regret Meeting The Bad People You Did
Now, to the crux of the post.
I always found the saying “You can’t appreciate the good unless you’ve tasted the bad” very cliché when I was younger and I’m sure many people feel the same. If “good” felt good, then why not continue to feel good and just completely ignore the bad? If anyone has any interest in philosophy, Jeremy Bentham’s notion of utilitarianism probably best describes how we dealt with the world as young adults. Most of us easily fall into the trap of being hedonistic and avoiding uncomfortable situations, thinking that is the ideal way of dealing with life.
Alas, life has a funny way of teaching you certain lessons and I basically got to learn the lesson of “Anything taken to the extreme is not good” before I became a practitioner.
Many people cannot relate to the notion of “finding meaning in suffering” which I can definitely understand because suffering is something all of us are programmed to avoid. Alas, suffering sometimes just befalls us when we least expect it and we question why it has to be so. I certainly don’t feel anyone’s life can be completely free from suffering, so the sooner we learn to embrace it as part of life, the better. Buddha says it best.
I don’t want to be the one leading the discussion here as I don’t think I’m qualified, but philosophers of the past often had discourses on the purpose of suffering and what we gain out of it and I would encourage everyone to read some of these texts when you can. What I can do is try to explain it from a Chinese metaphysics angle.
A lot of our suffering comes from the people we meet in our lifetime. I don’t think I need to say too much about the bad people I’ve met in my lifetime, only that I’ve met too many during my younger days. It was my worst 10-Year Phase, naturally.
I could not comprehend or make sense of why I had to meet all these pieces of garbage for a large part of my life. It is only when I became a practitioner that I managed to find peace and understood why I had to meet them and I am glad I did. If you read my blog closely and can relate to everything I have to say about Yin & Yang, balance, and the cycle of birth and death, you will know why I was glad to meet them.
I’ve said this before: Nothing of value is able to manifest without some process of forging and this is Chinese metaphysical law. This is why a strong Daymaster needs to be controlled by the element that opposes it; nothing of value is able to manifest without being able to withstand the process of forging. This is why a weak Daymaster needs strengthening.
Bad people can absolutely wreck us, but bad people can also make the good people better, and stronger. Which of the two scenarios happens really depends on you and let’s hope your BaZi chart paints a story of the latter.
If Yin & Yang represent polar opposites, for growth to exist, death and decay also have to exist. If Yin gives birth to Yang and Yang gives birth to Yin, then it’s fair to postulate that death and decay lads to growth, and growth eventually ends up in death and decay as well. Yin & Yang is an endless cycle of birth, growth, decay, death, and back to growth again.
There is a reason why I always say your BaZi chart basically describes where you are in the circle of life and death because our BaZi charts are both literally and metaphorically a snapshot of how Yin & Yang unfolds. The 5 Elements are simply states of Yin & Yang. There are some people who are the living embodiment of what growth means; there are some people who are the living embodiment of what stagnation means, and there are some people who are the living embodiment of what death and decay mean. Of course, there are also some hormonally charged imbeciles who are the living embodiment of what being stuck in puberty means.
Something really has to rot and go through the death and decay process in order for something else to grow. It’s the same reason why every successful person will tell you failure is the best teacher because the death of something can lead to the growth of something else.
The death and decay process is something we can see in nature, we can also see this in our lives and our relations with others. You detest someone for who they are and you tell yourself you will do better.
A Thought Experiment For Everyone
Now, it’s let’s say the law that one thing has to rot in order for something else to grow is indeed true, would that make you look at life a lot differently?
I would like to think that there were some Chinese classics that spoke about whatever I just did. There was a quote I mentioned a long time ago by 鬼谷子 (Google him if you don’t wish to find out who he is):
It basically states that a good person (君子) and a bad person (小人) will react to something different, which is the very reason why the good person ends up in a better place. Good people also don’t end up getting to where they are if they don’t go through some difficulties which “君子不刑定不发” should make very clear.
Whatever I’m about to share here happened a really long time ago and it’s a chapter of my life that’s already closed off and irrelevant but I thought it’d make good sharing. I know what I’m about to share is going to make me sound very petty and like I’m someone who holds grudges but I’ll leave that for you readers to decide and perhaps think about whether anyone, other than Heavens, is actually in the position to judge.
I’m sure everyone knows from my blog and some media features that I have people who’ve wronged me in my life – and that’s fine. It’s part of life and I have moved on. You should be able to guess that I definitely have the charts of these people and the truth is I do visit their charts once in a while just to ‘see’ what’s going on because, why not? I read charts for a living and this is what I do.
One thing that I noticed, and it may or may not be coincidental, is that the period when these people entered into a bad phase is the period when I start to enter into a good one. I’m not talking about just one person’s chart, but the collective group of people who have harmed me rather significantly in my life. These are not instances of someone bad mouthing me or bumping me on the shoulder or anything petty, but outright malicious harm that involved cheating, manipulation, gaslighting, and physical harm. You could say that these are the people I knew I was fated to meet, and are basically you’ll remember for life and you know your life has changed ever since you crossed paths with them.
Perhaps I’m trying too hard to find a pattern here, or perhaps I’m not. It was just a really interesting observation to me.
If what I observed from everyone’s charts is indeed metaphysical laws playing out, then I hope it at least brings peace and closure to what some of you are going through just like how it’s brought me closure. There was a period in my life when I would have loved to take matters into my own hands and lay down justice on my own, but I told myself I’ll just let nature’s laws play out on their own and I guess you could say these laws did not disappoint me. The existence of these people still fuels me to this day because they are everything I am against.
I hope everything understands this is not about vengeance, although the word “vindication” would, perhaps, be more apt. I’m like everyone else who is seeking closure for the things we go through and I found mine is such a form. A part of me still wants justice, but I know the justice I seek will not be dealt through me.
If you are someone seeking answers through Chinese metaphysics and BaZi, then I hope what I’ve shared gives you some assurance that there’s a reason for the things that you are going through.
Bad People Will Never Ever Get A Good Ending
I know the notion that some of these bad people getting away with what they have done scare us and we often feel that life is unfair. But is it?
I guess what I can reassure everyone, as a practitioner, is that bad, vile people will never get a good ending. When the decomposition starts and has gone past the point of no return, there is no way to undo the process unless extreme measures are taken. Translate that into real life, an extreme measure could mean a lot of things, like losing a loved one, jail time, or whatever.
I’ve seen enough in the course of my career to know that bad people will never, ever get a good ending.
I have never met a single bad person who got away with his or her misdeeds and many of them whom I’ve crossed paths with are facing the consequences and it’s been a long time coming. It will hit them one way or another. Before I forget, for goodness sake, everyone needs to stop thinking that having a lot of money equates to a good life, so if you think some of these filthy people are having the time of their lives simply because they have a fat bank account, I can only tell you to go out there and see the world and talk to more people.
I never understood where people get the idea that bad people can get away with the things they do – they don’t. They really, really don’t. It’s just that most of us don’t get to see it. I get to see things and hear more stories that most people don’t, so I hope this at least gives people some hope and reassurance that justice will be served eventually – just not by you.
One notion of Chinese metaphysics that people fail to appreciate is that the laws we are talking about in Chinese metaphysics are, in a way, describing how karma unfolds. Karma is really just cause-and-effect and Chinese metaphysics and BaZi expresses cause-and-effect in the form of 5 Elements and Yin & Yang.
Please Remember What The 10-Year Phases Represent
I’ve explored this topic before in a few blog posts:
- How To Read A BaZi Chart: The Right & Holistic Way
- What To Do When You Encounter A Negative 10-Year Phase (大运) Or ‘Luck Pillar’
- There’s No Such Thing As ‘Luck’: Understanding What “Luck Pillars” Are In Metaphysics
People who are new to BaZi or people who get a reading for the first time find it a bit harder to appreciate the notion of that 10-Year Phases (大运) represents. To most people, it’s simply about “good luck” vs “bad luck”.
I’ve argued in my blog that everything in nature has a cycle of life and death, imbalance seeking balance, and from a point of balance falling into imbalance. Our charts are a reflection of these processes, which is another way of saying that our lives and what we experience are a reflection of these processes as well.
I’ve said this before, but a bad 10-Year phase has to precede a good phase because that is simply nature’s law, but whether you come out of it better, stronger, or whether you crumble and sink deeper is really up to your own wisdom and fortitude. Just so we are clear, no one can teach or imbue into you what these qualities are and simply getting your chart read doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly become strong and wise. What I can say with absolute certainty is that not many people come out of challenging situations a better person which is why their charts will not show that their 10-Year Phases are getting better. So many Category 4 chart-holders come back to me saying they regret not taking the reading seriously and you’ll find some of these stories in my other posts, but please don’t be under the impression that these are just a handful of people.
Not many people are wise enough to avoid an impending setback or calamity written in their charts, even fewer people come out of a bad situation or rough patch a better person. I’ve lost count of the number of people who sank deeper, only to become more bitter, delusional, or simply just give up on themselves.
If you have met pieces of garbage in your life – do not be like them. If your parents are garbage – do not repeat their mistakes. Because if you do, you are punishing yourself for their mistakes and you are wasting your life away. These pieces of garbage are here as ‘cosmic fertilizers’ to help us grow because, again, nature’s law dictates that something must rot in order for something else to grow.
Do not be the one that is rotting. Do not let the rot spread. Take the filth with dignity and grow.
A lot of the things I talk about are not written in the Chinese classics that are focused on teaching the techniques of interpreting the charts. All these things I talk about are my own interpretations and perspectives, or what the Chinese would call 心得 as I grow older, gather more stories, and speak to more people.
I will be honest and I have always admitted that I am not an individual trying to be perfect or holy, but a small part of me does hope that these metaphysical laws will strike the people who have wronged me people with absolutely no mercy. In some cases, it has, and what I can say is that it did not make me happier. When and how justice will be carried out is also not something that I am in the position to decide.
The more important message for the people seeking solace from the harm that was done to them. I’m not trying to be a life coach or guru here, but the point is to keep focusing on yourself and be better. There’s nothing else you need to do.
Justice exists. Karma will take care of the rest.
P.S. Read this in a light-hearted tone: Don’t expect me to suddenly become a soft-spoken, gentle, saint-like person though. I still bloody detest imbecilic, self-absorbed Category 4 people who will never get it or who simply refuse to get over their childhood issues. I’ll deal with this these people better, but it doesn’t mean I have to like them. *Peace sign*