I’m at a point where I am struggling to find something to write about because I’ve written so many things over the past ten years. Whatever that needs to be said has been said, and I think anything more I write will be different iterations and expressions of the same core topics unless I really want to bore people with theory or lambast any ‘practitioner’ spouting nonsense. Fatherhood has been deeply fulfilling and rewarding, and I’d give up anything to commit my time to my son. Finding quiet time to sit down, ruminate, and write is more like a luxury to me now.
Before I begin, I need to remind everyone that you’d be a damn fool to think my Instagram is the right place to get to know me. My blog is a better platform to do so, but even so, you will never know me well enough unless I call you family and friend. So please don’t be a presumptuous simpleton and think that you know me very well, what I am capable of, who I hang out with, and what my karma will be. May I suggest you worry about your own life and karma, especially if you are a Cat. 4 chart-holder.
I will always write because I enjoy it. If anyone feels that exercising my right to express myself is a form of narcissism, please do not ever let me know you exist. I hope you will go mute and never talk to anyone again to show your warped version of humility, and I hope you cease to exist.
The post is motivated by, well, life itself. It’s always the main motivator. It’s nothing new – clients and their stories, insights from my career as an astrologer, and mostly fatherhood because it’s so new and life-changing for me. It has got me thinking a lot about life because I literally created life with my wife. I will leave the fatherhood stories for the end-of-year reflective post.
Some Stories I’ve Come Across Recently
As I’ve said time and again, the most interesting part of my job is the people I meet and the stories I hear. I meet new people every single day, hopefully with their masks off, because there’s really nothing to hide when the astrologer has your chart. Most stories I encounter will always lean towards the negative because astrology is a field people turn to only when things go wrong. If people approach me when life is good, all my clients would be Cat. 1 chart-holders, and I jizz at the notion.
I think I’ve heard them all – from the heart-wrenching to the puzzling ones and, of course, the infuriating ones. I’ll share some of the recent stories:
- An insecure emotional leech was going through metaphorical death and rebirth of her emotions, and she could not decide whether to stay with her current boyfriend or ex-husband. She is also, unfortunately, a mother.
- There was an imbecile who decided that lending more than $80,000 to someone she met on a dating app was a good idea, only to be asked to be the spare tyre and cohabitate with the guy’s current girlfriend. Yes, the guy wanted two girlfriends.
- A spouse-harming female asked for a face-to-face reading with her husband to use the session to humiliate her husband and paint him as the problem, oblivious to the fact that she’s actually the bigger problem – typical, low-class, low-life behaviour of a Cat. 4 spouse-harming chart-holder.
- A Cat. 4 individual with 伤官见官 and Saturn combust who feels the world revolves around her whims and ego and can’t understand why everything, including marriage, comes with its own set of rules that needs to be respected and honoured.
- A prodigal son who feigns mental illness and does nothing but spend his parent’s money and parades himself as a hustler and high-achieving entrepreneur, only to burn $40 million for nothing. Yes, this is a real story. $40 million down the drain just like that, and if you think being born into a wealthy family automatically means you have a good life – you’re a goddamn loser.
- A client’s sister suddenly got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and was given two years to live, and it was one of those cases where I had to use what I knew to look at the year of passing.
- A client gave birth to a stillborn, had her world turned upside down, and is still healing from the loss.
- A follower, not a client, had to suffer the loss of her 8-month-old son, who passed away from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. The anguish led her to ask me when she’d pass so that she could join her son. As a new father, I cannot imagine the pain she has to go through.
I once thought your husband fornicating with your maid was the best the stories would get, and I never thought I’d ever hear the above stories in my lifetime. It’s an emotional coaster ride even for me because of the different themes, personalities, and tragedies I had to witness. Of course, there were good stories, heartwarming stories of people leaving toxic relationships, finding love, quitting the jobs they hate and finally taking a break to enjoy life. But I guess you could say these stories aren’t as interesting to talk about or make examples of.
The birth of my son has indubitably made me even more introspective about life because as I welcome and celebrate new life and experience new emotions and healing, I am watching people going through immense grief when they’ve done nothing wrong and also seeing some of their lives fall apart from their own doing. I am also getting older, and every year that passes only sees my body weakening and bringing me one step closer to death, and I grief at the notion that my wife will leave me one day, and then we will leave our son one day because the three of us are really happy as a family right now.
It does get you thinking.
Life is very, very precious. Have you not wondered why, out of all the living, sentient beings that roam Earth, only humans – higher-order beings – can experience whatever we’re experiencing? To dream, to marvel, to love, and to create?
Most people live life as though they are going to live forever, and that they will always have more time to do what they wish, or that whatever they do will eventually be forgotten with the passage of time and as though they are going to be given a second chance. I want to remind everyone that you are not going to have more time nor be given a second chance – you will die, and depending on how you lived, you will either be passing on being at peace that you’ve lived well or be confronted with all the regrets and guilt of the things you did or did not do.
It is said that at the moment passing, your ego completely dissipates, and you will be in your purest, most raw and vulnerable form. They say that’s the moment you realise all the good and wrong you have done because your ego is gone, and at the moment you wish you were together with everyone else when you’re about to slip away. Perhaps you shouldn’t have cheated; perhaps you should have travelled the world; perhaps you should have lived more honestly and honourably; and perhaps you shouldn’t have been such a Cat. 4 bitch so that you didn’t have to die alone.
I don’t know how it will feel the moment one passes, but I contemplate it in a non-morbid, philosophical way. It is coming, after all.
But my point is this: Why do the things you do when you know they will all end one day? And why not do the things you haven’t done because you know they will all end one day?
I sometimes wonder why people live like degenerates and choose to do things like spread suffering, or scam, or whatever. Is it because they know they’ll die someday and that it won’t matter anymore? If that’s the case, I really, really hope reincarnation doesn’t exist.
We Are Human And We All Want The Same Things
Unless you’re the odd one out and tell me you enjoy shoving a cactus up your ass for pleasure, I don’t think I even need to argue this point — which is that we all want the same things. We just go about attaining them differently, adapting to the change eras as we go about it.
Western and psychological astrology puts it across well by describing the twelve zodiac signs as our psychological needs. To recap from the book “Astrology & The Authentic Self”:
- Aries—the need to be independent and develop self-awareness
- Taurus—the need to be resourceful and get productive results
- Gemini—the need to communicate and make mental contact with others
- Cancer—the need to give and receive emotional warmth and security
- Leo—the need for creative expression and appreciation by others
- Virgo—the need to analyze, discriminate, and function efficiently
- Libra—the need to relate to others and create harmony and balance
- Scorpio—the need for deep involvements and intense transformations
- Sagittarius—the need to explore and expand mental and actual horizons
- Capricorn—the need for structure, organization, and discipline
- Aquarius—the need to innovate, be original, and create social change
- Pisces—the need to commit to a dream or ideal
Chinese astrology doesn’t quite put things as elegantly and gives a more simplified version known as the Five Commons (五常), but many people will still find some appeal in Chinese astrology and metaphysics because of superstition and the notion that it provides us with some shortcut.
I don’t care what race or religion one belongs to. We are human, and we are the same. Perhaps the only difference is how we express our needs and wants, which are influenced by our geography and, naturally, culture.
But it begs the question. If what we all need and want is so simple, why does it feel so fleeting and unattainable to some? Why are you alone and unloved? Why are you poor? Why are you in ill health? Why do you not have friends? Why are you rich, but no one respects you? Why are you so bloody Cat. 4?
I don’t have the answer to everything, and neither does astrology, but what I can say is that if you wish to embrace astrology, you have to embrace karma and perhaps even past-life karma. This is a given, you can take all the credit you want for that good BaZi chart of yours, and you have no one to blame for your shit of a chart but yourself.
There is a reason why astrology works, whether you believe it or not, and there is a reason why Buddhism doesn’t reject astrology.
Why are some people deemed evil? Why do people scam? You could say that, deep down, they, too, are going after what every human being wants, but how they express it is not exactly the best way to go about it, and it comes from a place of severe imbalance. Courage becomes violence; the desire for love becomes assault; the need to be appreciated becomes narcissism. Every planet and every virtue has a dark side when taken to the extreme, and the Aristotelian Golden Mean is lost.
Always Question Yourself What It Means To Have A “Good Life”
This is one of the questions I always make a point to ask myself, “What does it mean to have a good life, and how does one attain it?”
I briefly shared some of my thoughts in a blog post long ago, and I just realised I didn’t tag it under “Must Reads”. Perhaps I should.
I’m not a mind reader like some ‘gifted’ animal communicators, but I presume that we don’t ask ourselves such questions enough.
If I were to apply a Buddhist perspective to this, perhaps a life without suffering would be good enough. I won’t attempt to describe how one frees himself/herself from suffering—you’re better off attending a course on Buddhism and embracing impermanence, emptiness, and a better understanding of your mind.
Then comes the next question.
Does Astrology Help With The Cessation Of Suffering?
Does astrology help with the cessation of suffering? I’d like to think so, and one of the stories I’ll always remember is from the book Astrology & The Authentic Self, in which the author asks her teacher, a nun, how a Buddhist should look at an astrological chart.
Astrology and the Authentic Self
I asked her what a birth chart actually represents. Her response was that, from a Buddhist perspective, the chart is a picture of our basic karmic situation in life, as the fruition and result of our actions from previous lives. As such, it represents our limitations and negative emotional patterns, which are the source of our suffering. However, simultaneously, the birth chart is a picture of what we would look like as enlightened beings if we were able to transform the negative karmic mental patterns into their corresponding wisdom qualities through meditative practice and right action.
Most people consider the astrological chart a map to help you attain your desires, but few see it as a guide for the cessation of your suffering.
I mean it when I say I’ve met all sorts of people, heard all sorts of stories, and considered all kinds of perspectives. I’ve also seen people through different stages and phases, and I’ve seen them at their highest and lowest, what gives them hope, and what makes them lose faith and feel destitute.
I’m not trying to sound like a religious or spiritual leader. Encountering all this is really part of the job. Speak a doctor, lawyer, or anyone in a professional that deals with people and you’ll likely hear the same stories.
As much as the stories differ, the underlying cause of the suffering doesn’t differ much.
Impermanence and loss will always be with all of us. This, in itself, is already one of the greatest and harshest lessons one can learn, and accepting this may perhaps make other lessons feel less harsh. But as for the other more worldly matters:
Some charts are not meant to end up in a relationship or marriage. If that is the story of your chart, then perhaps the lesson here is to learn how to find the joys of your own company and realise that one can still be happy even without a partner. It may, perhaps, even remind you that you’re a pain to be with, and it’s to everyone’s favour that you remain single.
Perhaps your lesson is knowing that you still have value and are worthy of love even if you’re not rich, drive a sports car, and hold a high corporate title.
Perhaps your lesson is that you should have picked the right spouse and spent more time building meaningful relationships.
Perhaps your lesson is realising that with your health and putting yourself first, everything else crumbles.
Perhaps your lesson is knowing that your spirituality is just a reflection of your mental illness or inability to move on from the past because your weak mind is unable to face reality.
There are 7 billion people in the world. The form in which our motivations, what makes us happy, and what makes us suffer might be different, but again, underneath all that, I really feel we are the same, and our lessons may not be that different from one another’s.
The Cessation Of Suffering Sounds Simple – But It’s Not
I know some people might feel what I said above can sound a tad reductive because I make overcoming suffering sound so easy. Please don’t get me wrong—that will never be my message, and I never once said that the path towards a good life or the cessation of suffering is easy.
I still remember my younger days when I was an emotional and mental mess. I had no notion of who I was, why I was born, and what a healthy sense of “self” meant. Everyone goes through this phase, and some people are stuck in it.
I know it is not easy. But if you wanted an easy life, then perhaps you should have asked the Creator to let you reincarnate as a housefly that constantly feeds on shit and is so hard to kill. That would have been easier.
But you are human, so live like a dignified one.
There is a Buddhist saying 「烦恼即菩提」。 Enlightenment comes after suffering, and you might even need to suffer immensely first before tasting what enlightenment, happiness, and being free means.
It is like that toxic relationship you were trapped in for ten years, or that first “f*** you” you say to your parents, or even something as simple as that shit you’ve unwillingly been holding for five days because of constipation. You finally snapped out of it because the pain was too unbearable.
When there is enough Yin, Yang starts to grow, and hopefully, you reach a point where Yin and Yang are in balance, where you can taste happiness while living at peace with your suffering. Again, all these are topics I’ve written about before.
Do you want to enjoy the beauty of spring? Then you had better survive the harshness of winter first because all these are cycles and laws of nature from which you cannot escape.
A Good Life Requires An Indomitable Spirit & More
I’ve been a practitioner for about ten years now, and one recurring theme is that most people fail to realise that a “good life”, however you wish to define it for yourself, requires tons of effort.
Talking about having a good life is akin to talking about transcending charts. Most of us want to transcend our charts because we all feel our lives can be better – we can be richer, we can find a trophy spouse, and we can whatever.
I’ve actually spoken about this in one of my blog posts, but people often think that physical exertion and returning home feeling tired equate to the effort required to have a good life, but is it really? Or are you just feeling tired from being a cog in a machine? I do not say this to mock people who are in the corporate world. I say this because this is one of the questions I asked myself when I was still in the corporate world. Let’s not forget this is just your career and wealth aspect we are talking about. If you want to include other aspects of your life, you’ll realise the effort required has just increased exponentially.
How does one have a great career where one can find fulfilment in and, at the same time, have a fulfilling marriage, have meaningful friendships, a loving family, and good health? That’s so many things to take note of. Yes, it is, but too bad – you just have to deal with it, which is why knowing where and how to spend your time and energy is so important.
I think people fail to realise just how tough it is to have a good life and that a good life is not just an act of exerting yourself past your limits, but also a constant act of achieving balance because you’ll grow to realise how everything is interconnected and impacts one another and there is a reason why one House in astrology can represent so many different things, and why Houses can also be Derived Houses.
The creation of a good life requires a lot more energy and spirit than you can imagine.
I never once believed that you could keep different areas of your life in silos and keep them 100% separate. If you are a prick in your marriage, you’ll definitely show this side at work as well. If your health is failing, you are not going to be able to climb the corporate ladder either. And if you stupid AF in private, you can be sure you are stupid AF in public and at work too.
We’ve been brought to to think different aspects of our lives can be kept separate because we should be “professional”, but can it really? By all means, do the work you’re being paid for, but if you still wish to think you personal life is not going to impact your professional life, I’d like to think you’re a fool.
A good life is so tough because it sometimes isn’t just about the effort and attempt – but what the effort and attempt are made of.
Perhaps let’s use an astrological angle to explore exactly what goes on behind the effort required to have a good life. Again, from the book “Astrology & The Authentic Self”:
- Sun—basic identity, will, and conscious purpose
- Moon—emotions, feelings, habitual responses
- Mercury—capacity to think, speak, learn, and reason
- Venus—capacity to attract what is loved and valued
- Mars—capacity to act and be assertive based on desire
- Jupiter—search for meaning, truth, and ethical values
- Saturn—capacity to create order, form, and discipline
- Uranus—unique individuality and urge for liberation
- Neptune—capacity to transcend the finite self through union with a larger whole
- Pluto—capacity to transform and renew
Let’s assume that the planets do represent our psyche and I certainly believe it does, then the right effort means one needs to embody the virtues the planets represent. And in the spirit of knowing everything is interconnected, one malfunctioning or debilitated planet has the potential to drag your entire life down.
You might be the smartest person in the room with an extremely strong, well-placed Mercury, but any other weakly placed planet might stop you from effectively expressing this Mercurial side of you.
You might be the most attractive person in the country because of a well-placed Venus, but you might end up being the dumbest himbo/bimbo anyone has ever met because your Mercury or Jupiter isn’t strong, but you still want to have your views heard and even pretend to be successful because your Mercury and Jupiter are in Leo.
You might be the smartest and most attractive person, but a weakly placed Saturn and Mars may mean you lack discipline or fail to understand why laws exist and why authority and order are to be respected and that the world does not revolve around you.
Suppose every single planet in your chart has an issue; in that case, you’re probably Cat. 4 chart-holder and probably a very unpleasant person to be with, and I was to uphold my pre-fatherhood tradition of being extremely blunt – probably a repulsive, dumb person that no one likes, wants to look at, and a curse to marry.
On their own, the planets, signs, and Houses are easy to understand. But bring them together and it takes on a whole new level of complexity because we can now go into which area of your life the virtues of the planets are expressed the most. It’s difficult enough as it is to understand all these intellectually, let alone embody and live it on your time on Earth.
A Good Chart Is Hard To Come By; A Good Life Is Hard To Attain
A good astrological or BaZi chart is extremely rare, and I think this has already been made very clear throughout my career. We all wish to be born with good charts but I think everyone tends to forget the charts is really just a reflection of our character and soul; without these two, you can only dream of having a good life, or worse, be jealous of others who have a good life.
And if your character and soul are beautiful, I don’t see why Heavens and our Creator wouldn’t take care of you because of it.
I am truly happy for those born with good charts, and any astrologer would tell you it’s the good karma you’ve accumulated and that you would be an inspiration to all. For the rest of us, we may not have good charts, but we can still aspire to be like those with good charts.
But my main message is this: A good life is extremely hard to come by, and the effort it requires is a combination of effort, wisdom, intelligence, natural charm, and discipline – whatever virtues you can associate with the planets and elements we use in astrology. If you are born with it, I am really, really very happy for you, and if you’re not, it is no one’s fault, and there is always something to learn and grow from.
People with good charts have good lives, not because they are lucky but because things just happen to them. It is because of the virtues they embody and the cause-and-effect chain of events that leads them to good places. They worked for it – and they function at a level that people with average or bad charts cannot comprehend or relate to.
If your best is someone’s worst – your best really means jackshit.
– Sean
