One fundamental belief in Chinese metaphysics that a lot of people ignore is the fact that everything is interconnected. Many laypeople don’t appreciate how your marriage, wealth, and overall success are all intricately linked. They make the mistake of approaching BaZi being obsessed with only one aspect of life and it usually revolved aound wealth or love.
Just like how you only live as long as your healthiest organ, you’re only going to progress as far as your weakest aspect of life.
What I Noticed During Consultations
Whenever I have consultations, questions from my clients would often revolve around areas of their life which they are most concerned about, or where their deepest desires are. I have always told my clients that every single aspect of life is important and everything must be in balance. There is no point in pursuing one aspect while neglecting another because life just doesn’t work this way. To name a few examples: the healthier you are, the higher the chance of you being able to work towards accumulating wealth; the happier your marriage, the smoother your career will be. It’s actually a very simple correlation but people don’t usually take it very seriously, and they live day to day without truly progressing forward because one aspect of their lives is always holding them back.
Why The Ten Gods Represent The Things They Do
I’ve realized that the people who stumble upon my website via Google often search for topics related to wealth and marriage, so I thought I’d give these two topics a bit more attention rather than just writing technical entries.
There are only ten different ‘gods’ (十神) that appear in BaZi, and each of these ‘gods’ can represent a multitude of things. In my previous entry, I talk about wealth and how to identify a chart that has the potential to be rich. There’s one thing I missed out, which is the other aspect which the wealth element represents in one’s BaZi chart, which is a man’s wife and marriage.
Yes, the Wealth Element in BaZi represents both money itself and the man’s wife, and there is a good reason why this is so.
Why The Wealth ‘God’ Represents The Wife & Officer ‘God’ Represents The Husband
I’ll be using the two aspects which most people are concerned about as an angle for this post, which is their love life and their career. In the eyes of metaphysics, the quality of one’s marriage and career success can never be separated. If you’ve ever studied BaZi a little, you would have probably learned that the Wealth Element, be it Direct or Indirect Wealth (正財 and 偏財), can represent one’s wife, whereas the Direct Officer ‘god’ (正官) represents one’s husband. Wealth ‘gods’ generally indicates one’s ability to acquire wealth, whereas the Direct Officer ‘god’ represents one’s status. These ‘gods’ are considered very auspicious ‘gods’ to appear in a chart, and when the conditions are right they can bring a lot of tangible and intangible benefits to one’s life.
Male Charts & Wealth Elements
You will notice that successful men have very good marriages, and they treat their spouses really, really well. Assessing the quality of a male chart holder’s marriage is extremely easy for a practitioner because we simply have to look at the role the Wealth ‘god’ plays in the chart.
If you’re a man and you don’t know the purpose of being in a marriage, or you don’t treat your wife well, any practitioner will know you aren’t someone who can handle life properly. When you can’t hand life properly, you won’t be successful. It’s really as simple as that.
The definition of success here is not about money or how much you earn. Metaphysics doesn’t care about that. If you earn a lot but you dread going home to your family and wife, then any practitioner will tell you you’re a miserable failure and it’s only a matter of time before you lose your wealth. Money is important and we all get that, but there comes a point where more money won’t buy you more happiness.
Female Charts And Officer ‘Gods’
From the female perspective, the same logic applies. I won’t say much because I am not female and I don’t feel like I have the right to comment much.
But what I can say is that if a female spends most of her time berating her husband and complaining why he can’t be more capable and earn more, it’s only going to make things worse. A few things I would like to point out:
- The men who make good partners are excellent judges of character. The same goes for women. They will know how to identify people with character flaws and avoid them. So if you are a partner who only knows how to criticize and not support, trust me, you will not end up marrying a good person because they will avoid you.
- Again, like I said, a couple’s chart will paint a similiar story. If your chart states that you will bring harm to your husband, I can assure you that his chart will not be good in the first place and this is the reason why he ended up with you.
A Couple Will Leave Each Other When The Charts Diverge
When I say “diverge”, what I am referring to is that a couple’s chart no longer starts to paint a cohesive picture. To put it simply, you can see one person enter into a positive phase, and the other person continues to remain in a negative phase.
There are a lot of cases where someone leaves a toxic partner or relationship and their lives start to get infinitely better. It can be seen in the charts. A lot of times, the person who gets ditched because he or she was a bad partner will regret because he or she cannot enjoy the ex-partner’s success.
What I can say is that this is fated. If you spent the majority of your relationship being a bad partner, there is no reason why someone would want to share his or her success with you when the time comes. In fact, a lot of times, it gives them the ability to finally leave you, because they realize you have been the biggest roadblock their whole lives.
I wouldn’t say this is. abad thing because, after all, at least someone from the relationship come out of it better and more successful. The worst kind of relationships are the kinds where both are consistently stuck in a negative phase.
I’m not saying all these things as a threat or mockery to people who are bad partners, because this is what is happening in the real world and what practitioners can see.
Please Appreciate The Philosophy Behind Chinese Metaphysics.
I’ve always argued that how charts reflect how we interact with the world around us, and that includes the people closest to us for sure, but it’s up to the individual to let the chart affect them or to transcend one’s own chart in order to ‘build’ your own chart. I’ve seen a lot of charts of successful people with a very positive 財 or 官 ‘god’ in their BaZi, and one thing that always stands out is that they take to have an extremely healthy view of relationships and they treat their spouses extremely well. They treat their partners with love and respect, and they simply know why they are together. To these people, a marriage or relationship is not about them filling a void or to fend off the fear of loneliness.
I’m sure you’ll agree with me that the companionship of the right partner brings out the best in you. A good partner brings you the drive, perseverance and inspiration nothing else in this world can, and I’m sure you would agree that we should all strive to be this kind of partner to another person, if not, what’s the point of being in a relationship in the first place? So what exactly does this have to do with BaZi?
A lot of my clients like to ask me how they can become wealthier or more successful, and I’ll always ask them, “Do you treat your spouse well?” I’ve always felt that if one does not know the significance of treating someone who has committed their life to you well, one would not be able to appreciate other intangibles in life and answer questions like “Why do we work?” or “What am I working for?” or worse “What am I alive for?” When one becomes directionless in this sense, it’s often hard to achieve something significant in life. One’s attitude to marriage is often indicative of one’s attitude to other important aspects of life.
BaZi can be seen as a very philosophical study of how nature works. Your BaZi chart is a description of cause-and-effect, your inner world and how you interact with the world around you because we are all the product of nature. A person’s chart can tell me what his/her values are and how he/she treats marriage and relationships, and through this, it’s extremely easy to access the happiness and success level of one’s life, because if you can help your spouse become happy and successful, you will definitely be happy and successful as well.
You Cannot Have A Good Marriage Unless You Sort Your Life Out
“Sort your life out” could mean a lot of things. It could refer to getting your finances in order, or healing from a bad childhood or relationship, or it could even be getting your health in order.
I know metaphysics can always be marred by the chicken-and-egg paradox, and you may be thinking “I’m not successful, which is why I don’t have a good partner” or “I don’t have a good partner to support me, which is why I’m not successful”. If you’re trapped in this circular logic, you are making the worst mistake ever. Just start doing something and you will realize that both areas will take care of itself, and you will have both a successful life and wonderful career. The successful people are the ones who are not trapped in this paradox.
Some of you might ask, “What if I happened to end up with a tox partner? It’s true that some of us aren’t that lucky, and we, unfortunately, end up in such relationships without realizing. I’ve been in such relationships too. It is then important to ask why did we end up in such relationships in the first place, and if we still in such relationships, why? OK, I’m going to throw in a bit of technicals here:
For example, a male chart might have the Wealth ‘god’ end up being a destructive element in the chart. It might be a case where a 財生七殺 occurs like what’s happening in the above chart, where the Wealth ‘god’ strengthens the ‘god’ 7-Killings, which can manifest as a myriad of negative things, ranging from a toxic environment during childhood and less than ideal parents, or just a more reckless disposition. All these things affect how we view and deal with relationships, which very likely plays a part in us ending up with the wrong kind of partner. Go to any website on psychology and you’ll see a lot of articles explaining why this is so.
For the old followers of my blog and who know about my background, I’m sure you agree that I have first-hand experience of how destructive a bad marriage can be for one’s career and well-being. For the new-comers: I didn’t go through a divorce; I had parents who made really bad decisions, which is partly the reason why I am a metaphysics consultant at my age.
I think at the end of the day what I really wish to drive across are three things:
- Try to develop self-awareness and know why you end up making the decisions you make, especially when it comes to getting into bad relationships. Are you in a relationship because you cannot be alone? Or that you are dependent on one?
- Know why you wish to be in a relationship, and when you are in one, make sure you treat your spouse well. Their job is not to make you happy. You need to be happy on your own first.
- There is a reason why some people are extremely successful in their careers, and it definitely has something to do with how they view relationships and treat their spouses. Someone who doesn’t treat their spouse well will never be successful. The marriage will drain their energy and drag them down eventually.
Most of my clients would ask me what they can do to introduce a beneficial element in their charts, or what they can do to solve their problems. Metaphysics is not a magical cure and you can not artificially change your chart. The only way is to transcend your chart is to start with self-awareness and to make better decisions. When I say “self-aware”, I really do mean being self-aware. Most of us would like to think we are self-aware, but it’s really easier said than done. Habits are hard to break, but if you can consistently make good decisions, you will definitely be happier and become successful.
When you start to see everything as a cause-and-effect process, you will have a new perspective on the field of metaphysics, how it explores nature’s laws and describes the unfolding of life. There is a reason why a high quality BaZi chart is ‘balanced’ or has a good structure, because it’s simply describing whether our own lives have this balance and whether there’s a structure in place for us to make good decisions.
Update: If you have not seen my latest post on love and relationships, do check it out here:
On Love, Marriage & Spouses Who Bring ‘Good Luck’ – A BaZi & Zi Wei Dou Shu Perspective