Update: If you have not seen my latest post on love and relationships, do check it out here:
On Love, Marriage & Spouses Who Bring ‘Good Luck’ – A BaZi & Zi Wei Dou Shu Perspective
You’re probably here because you saw my Facebook post and it redirected you here. I’m going to try something a bit different this time and I hope you’ll indulge me a bit! I usually shy away from promoting anything related to this metaphysics sideline of mine, but this is purely an experiment to see if I can reach more people and what I can do to engage more people. When you finish reading this post and you enjoyed it, please “Like” my Facebook page, share this post, tag your partner in it. Feel free to share one thing you love about your partner in the comments too! I’ll be picking a lucky couple to do a free BaZi consultation for at the end of the month! It’s not a very attractive prize I know – I’m really just trying to see how I can engage my readers more and get some feedback on my content here.
Whenever I have consultations, questions from my clients would often revolve around areas of their life which they are most concerned about, or where their deepest desires are. I have always told my clients that every single aspect of life is important and everything must be in balance. There is no point pursuing one aspect while neglecting another because life just doesn’t work this way. To name a few examples: the healthier you are, the higher the chance of you being able to work towards accumulating wealth; the happier your marriage, the smoother your career will be. It’s not a correlation that people can fully appreciate at first blush.
I’ve realized that the people who stumble upon my website via Google often search for topics related to wealth and marriage, so I though I’d give these two topics a bit more attention rather than just writing technical entries. There are only ten different ‘gods’ (十神) that appear in BaZi, and each of these ‘gods’ can can represent a multitude of things -and there’s a good reason why this is so. In my previous entry, I talk about wealth and how to identify a chart that has the potential to be rich. There’s one thing I missed out, which is the other aspect which the wealth element represents in one’s BaZi chart, which is a man’s wife and marriage. This entry is going to be from the perspective of what I’ve observed through my career as a consultant, and what I hope to achieve with this article, especially if you are a believer of metaphysics, is to bring a new perspective of how these small intricacies and dynamics of our various aspects of our lives can affect us.
I’ll be be using the two aspects which most people are concerned about as an angle for this post, which is their love life and their career. In the eyes of metaphysics, the quality of one’s marriage and career success can never be separated. If you’ve ever studied BaZi a little, you would have probably learned that the Wealth ‘god’ (正財 and 偏財) represents one’s wife, whereas the Direct Officer ‘god’ (正官) represents one’s husband. Wealth ‘gods’ generally indicates one’s ability to acquire wealth, whereas the Direct Officer ‘god’ represents one’s status. These ‘gods’ are considered very auspicious ‘gods’ to appear in a chart, and when the conditions are right they can bring a lot of tangible and intangible benefits to one’s life.
You will notice that successful men and women have very good marriages, and they treat their spouses really, really well. Assessing the quality of one’s marriage is extremely easy for a metaphysics or BaZi practitioner, because we simply have to look at what role Direct/Indirect Wealth (正財，偏財) and Direct Officer (正官) are playing in the charts, such as whether they are represented by beneficial elements and are they being assaulted by Companion Elements (比肩，劫財) or Hurting Officer (傷官)？
I’ve always argued that how charts reflect how we interact with the world around us, and that includes the people closest to us for sure, but it’s up to the individual to let the chart affect them, or to transcend one’s own chart in order to ‘build’ your own chart. I’ve seen a lot of charts of successful people with a very positive 財 or 官 ‘god’ in their BaZi, and one thing that always stands out is that they take have an extremely healthy view of relationships and they treat their spouses extremely well. They treat their partners with love and respect, and they simply know why they are together. To these people, a marriage or relationship is not about them filling a void or to fend off the fear of loneliness.
I’m sure you’ll agree with me that the companionship of the right partner brings out the best in you. A good partner brings you the drive, perseverance and inspiration nothing else in this world can, and I’m sure you would agree that we should all strive to be this kind of partner to another person, if not, what’s the point of being in a relationship in the first place? So what exactly does this have to do with BaZi?
A lot of my clients like to ask me how they can become wealthier or more successful, and I’ll always ask them, “Do you treat your spouse well?” I’ve always felt that if one does not know the significance of treating someone who has committed their life to you well, one would not be able to appreciate other intangibles in life and answer questions like “Why do we work?” or “What am I working for?” or worse “What am I alive for?” When one becomes directionless in this sense, it’s often hard to achieve something significant in life. One’s attitude to marriage is often indicative of one’s attitude to other important aspects of life.
BaZi can be seen as a very philosophical study of how nature works. Your BaZi chart is a description of cause-and-effect, your inner world and how you interact with the world around you, because we are all the product of nature. A person’s chart can tell me what his/her values are and how he/she treats marriage and relationships, and through this it’s extremely easy to access the happiness and success level of one’s life, because if you can help your spouse become happy and successful, you will definitely be happy and successful as well.
There is a reason why 財 also represents one’s wife; why 官 represent one’s husband and why your (Marriage Palace) 夫妻宮 and (Career Palace) 事業宮 are 對宮s, in ZiWeiDouShu (紫微斗數), because these two Palace’s have a direct impact on each other.
I know metaphysics can always be marred by the chicken-and-egg paradox, and you may be thinking “I’m not successful, which is why I don’t have a good partner” or “I don’t have a good partner to support me, which is why I’m not successful”. If you’re trapped in this circular logic, you are making the worst mistake ever. Just start doing something and you will realize that both areas will take care of itself, and you will have both a successful life and wonderful career. The successful people are the ones who are not trapped in this paradox.
Some of you might ask, “What if I happened to end up with a toxic partner?” It’s true that some of us aren’t that lucky, and we end up in such relationships. I’ve been in such relationships too. It is then important to ask why did we end up in such relationships in the first place, and if we still in such relationships, why? OK, I’m going to throw in a bit of technicalities here:
For example, a male chart might have the Wealth ‘god’ end up being a destructive element in the chart. It might be a case where a 財生七殺 occurs like what’s happening in the above chart, where the Wealth ‘god’ strengthens the ‘god’ 7-Killings, which can manifest as a myriad of negative things, ranging from a toxic environment during childhood and less than ideal parents, or just a more reckless disposition. All these things affect how we view and deal with relationships, which very likely plays a part in us ending up with the wrong kind of partner. Go to any website on psychology and you’ll see a lot of articles explaining why this is so.
For the old followers of my blog and who know about my background, I’m sure you agree that I have first-hand experience of how destructive a bad marriage can be for one’s career and well-being. For the new-comers: I didn’t go through a divorce; I had parents who made really bad decisions, which is partly the reason why I am a metaphysics consultant at my age.
I think at the end of the day what I really wish to drive across are three things:
1) You got to know what you’re doing and why you’re making the decisions you’re making.
2) Know why you wish to be in a relationship, and when you are in one, make sure you treat your spouse well.
3) There is a reason why some people are extremely successful in their careers, and it definitely has something to do with how they view relationships and treat their spouses.
Most of my clients would ask me what they can do to introduce a beneficial element in their charts, or what they can do to solve their problems. Metaphysics is not a magical cure and you can not artificially change your chart. The only way is to transcend your chart is to start with self-awareness and to make better decisions. I can only give my opinions, but to take that first step is really up to the client. Most of us would like to think think we are self-aware, but it’s really easier said than done. Habits are hard to break. If you can consistently make good decisions, you will definitely be happier and become successful.
When you start to see everything as a cause-and-effect process, you will have a new perspective on the field of metaphysics, how it explores nature’s laws and describes the unfolding of life. There is a reason why a high quality BaZi chart is ‘balanced’ or has a good structure, because it’s simply describing whether our own lives have this balance and whether there’s a structure in place for us to make good decisions.
P.S. I’m working on migrating my current website to another platform soon to bring you a better browsing experience. This domain will still be available and it’ll redirect you automatically so don’t worry!