I’ve been getting a lot of questions on whether everything in life and BaZi is predestined – the straight-up answer is NO. Well, some things are, like who your parents are, the environment you were born into – but certainly not everything.
Clients who’ve engaged me for a BaZi reading would fall into this trap of thinking everything is set in stone. That’s not true at all. The initial motivation for creating these methods of forecasting is so that we can alter the course of our lives. If everything has already set in stone, what’s the point of coming up with BaZi or other forecasting methods in the first place? There is even a whole chapter in the BaZi Chinese classic《三命通會》emphasizing the importance of cultivating oneself to control one’s destiny.
So now comes the question, how exactly do you change your so-called destiny?
My Thoughts On How Destiny Is Changed
A lot of people believe that doing good deeds or charity can achieve this, which I agree with for sure, but it’s essential to grasp the essence of this message instead of having just a superficial understanding of it. The whole point of doing charity is to cultivate your minds and heart so that you learn how to empathize with people, cherish what you already have, and opening up your mental and emotional spectrum so that you can see things from a different angle. The moment you can achieve that, your emotional intelligence increases; you can relate to people better, and they like you; more options in life will naturally open up to you. Someone like that would lead a happier and more successful life because he or she is continuously growing as a person instead of living a life blinded by desires and wants.
The point is to develop self-awareness, and you can do this through whatever means that suit you best. Charity is not the only way, of course. Some people learn more about themselves through reading books; some through sports or a hobby; some through meditation and religion. Personally, chess and reading helped me a lot. Chess taught me to watch my emotions and not let it overwhelm me, whereas books allowed me to see the world through a different lens and granted me new perspectives that made me a more positive and resilient person. There is a book called 《了凡四訓》that I would recommend to everybody. It’s written by a historical figure from the Ming Dynasty and it documents how he managed to transcend what was written in his chart. You can also watch the televised version here. There’s another book that had a huge impact on me called “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Toelle – you can download if for free here. It’s a very New Age book on spirituality and enlightenment; it might be hard to understand it at first, but I promise it will be worth the effort.
I usually don’t sugar coat my words when it comes to BaZi readings and consultations. If I see something negative on someone’s chart, I will point it out because I believe it will be beneficial in the long run, but only if the client believes that he or she can change things. Sugar-coating my words would only defeat the whole purpose of getting a BaZi reading. We all have the issues that we carry with us from our childhood or from a traumatic event that we never healed from or forgave ourselves for. As a result, we form all these limiting beliefs and craft all these ‘identities’ for ourselves. We constantly repeating the stories in our head to reinforce the belief that we are inadequate, ‘damaged’ or unworthy. We allow this to affect the quality of our lives and relationships. Our issues will probably never go away – what’s important is how to deal with it. I dealt with my problems by accepting them, being kinder to myself, and no longer repeating the story of “I am an abused child unworthy of being loved” in my head. My life changed after I’ve learned to let go of the identity I crafted for myself as a result of my past. Read “The Power of Now” and you’ll understand where I’m coming from – it’ll be worth your time and I recommend it to all my clients. It may be confusing at first, but at some point it will resonate with you.
I hope you enjoyed reading this blog entry as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you ever decide to do a BaZi reading for whatever reason, always remember to approach it with a mindset of self-discovery and empowerment. Nothing is set in stone and you are always in control of your destiny, but it will require wisdom, patience and willpower.
You might find these articles useful too: What Does Transcending Your BaZi Or Zi Wei Dou Shu Chart Mean?
Good stuff Sean. I am a hobbyist Bazi and Fengshui. Went through quite a few courses. After my first few lessons the nagging question is, “well, I can see a pattern in the way my bazi react with my lack cycle and year jiazi through the bad and good times. Some more of these patterns show in the future, some look real bad…… will I survive?” Then comes the never ending quest to change my life. And when you look at your friends and family bazi….. When its normal or Ok I just ramble off. When its bad I get very emotional, I wanna help. But feel like a mud buddha. Sigh…… curse of the gift.
Please, please, please text me the name of the book – in English – written by the person from the Ming dynasty, that is mentioned in this post. Thank you so much in advance!
I agree with your idea about life .. Not everything is predestined.. BUt not everything is changeable.. However Myself i am from buddist backgrounds , BUT i do believe the words of the Jewish bible. The torah.. They explain clearly on this subject.. EVerything is in the hands of heaven except the fear of heaven.. Which includes alot. The fear of heaven includes free will and good deeds also.. So Again with bazi or any fortune readings there is truths to it BUT theose truths can be changed to the very few that knows GOD.. God can change one’s destiny.. It is very very deep to know God. It all starts with searching and being humble to learn not jsut fighting for arroagance..
I agree with you that not everything can be changed and sometimes the best thing to do is to accept things for what they are and let go, but I think the change that both you and I speak of is more of an internal one that can change one’s reality and perception of the world and of one’s life. I believe that’s really the biggest change one can have. We do not have to be fixated on one reality and cling onto things that are harmful to us and our growth.