I’ve been itching to write a ‘philosophical’ post for quite some time now, not because I enjoy being preachy or want to posture myself as someone who knows better. Expressing myself in the form of writing has always been a joy, as I’ve said many times.
Life has been hectic, yet simple. Now that I’m a parent, I’ve settled into a routine where every day feels remarkably similar. There’s a certain structure to it which can feel mundane and dull, but a deep sense of fulfilment and joy also accompanies it. I had no family ties, as everyone would have known by now from my 2023 year-end post, but now I have a family of my own where our days are filled with love and laughter. I’m not going to mislead everyone and pretend that every day is perfect – it’s not. There are tough days, and I’m sure any married couple with children can relate. Overcoming them and communicating with my wife on a deeper level has made my marriage even more fulfilling.
I don’t want to make this post about my family life and how much warmth I have in my life right now – I’ve spoken about them already and I’ll leave the rest of my thoughts till the end of the year which, if I may remind you, half the year is already gone.
The mundanity of my life has begun to make me question my autonomy, a notion often explored in discussions on astrology and fate.
How much are we in control of our lives, exactly?
Again, there will be a sense of familiarity around these topics because my aspirations as an astrologer and the role of astrology itself don’t change much fundamentally. To live effectively, transcend charts, or be happy. Whatever.
Motivations For This Post
I find myself getting into discussions on topics related to life, transcending charts, spirituality, and even coaching these days. Nothing that I’ve not discussed before, although I wish to approach it from another angle, which is hopefully more non-technical and relatable.
People will never stop hounding me about whether someone’s chart and fate can be transcended. I can understand why there is this obsession because we want to do better than we currently are, we want more out of our lives, and we want to be awesome. I’m going to reiterate my stance that it is possible, but it won’t be easy, and transcending charts is really not what you think it is.
The moment you feel transcending charts is about fulfilling your desires, you’ve already fallen onto the wrong path, and the most oversized trap fate can throw at you. And of course, my industry has done a fantastic job in making you think that transcending charts is about fulfilling desires, not the cessation of suffering. My industry does this because they are stupid, and they know most people are even stupider than that.
But let’s assume, once again, that charts can be transcended. The question that comes next is, how can it be transcended? Is it really simply a matter of self-awareness and humility, as I’ve put it before?
What is the most effective method one can partake in to transcend one’s chart? Is it through meditation, coaching, believing fervently in an ideal, cursed Feng Shui items that do jackshit, or something else?
How about “autonomy”? The ability to make free, self-determined choices and govern yourself through reason and rationality. That is not to say you give up your emotions, although I know the general impression is that people who embrace philosophy tend to be overly rational and void of feelings.
Autonomy. You hear me say it a lot, and I’m finally going to talk about it and, hopefully, make sense.
On Autonomy And Why It’s Important
Some people who follow my Instagram closely may have heard me emphasise the importance of “believing in your power and autonomy”. You are a human being, alive, and with a brain. Cognition is a gift that you should embrace because, truly, “I think, therefore I am.”
Cogito, ergo sum, Descartes says.
Why are you alive if you don’t even intend to exercise the birthright the universe has imbued into you? Because, according to Descartes, thinking is the most fundamental proof of our existence. You, or “I” from your perspective, do not exist unless you think. And if you are what you think, then I guess the Buddhist concept of anattā makes sense because we truly have no fixed “self”, because I’m sure we can change the way we think, especially if you want even to begin talking about transcending charts.
The discussion on autonomy is a reminder to everyone that I do not want anyone to think that what I say or discuss is the be-all and end-all, because that is absolutely preposterous. I am a human being trying to figure things out, too.
Philosophically, autonomy is a new topic I’ve not touched on before, as I’ve always been more interested in moral philosophy. I have a vague recollection of autonomy being one of the topics philosophers discussed, and to my surprise, Immanuel Kant spoke extensively about it. It’s not just him, but also Jean-Paul Sartre, Thomas Hobbes, and John Locke. They all explored the concepts of human autonomy and free will, and I, being the traditionalist that I am, found myself resonating more with Immanuel Kant, who argues that true freedom comes from acting according to rational moral laws that we impose on ourselves.
Losing Our Autonomy
I’ve been wanting to discuss the topic of “autonomy” now because I work in an industry where I often encounter people who want to be told what to think and how to think, and what to believe. There is no better place to witness the collective stupidity of humanity than the feng shui industry, with people thinking glass figurines of coloured pigs and yellow floor mats can change your life.
I don’t feel there’s anything wrong with engaging others and learning how they view the world, and perhaps picking up a few valuable skills or frameworks that you can apply to live a more fulfilled life. What I am against is the notion that you rely entirely on someone else to think, frame your worldview, and make you live your life as though it’s not yours.
It is a form of self-abandonment that I condemn. If everyone wants to talk about transcending charts, then for goodness’ sake, start by understanding and believing in your autonomy.
I could give endless examples of how losing one’s autonomy makes us miserable. We can use the classic example of blindly following the virtue of filial piety. Because I cannot tell you how much suffering has been allowed to continue because we follow this virtue blindly, with the keyword being “blindly”. And if we follow virtues blindly, is it still a virtue then when it clouds our judgment and amplifies suffering?
Perhaps to someone out there, making a choice and saying that they will be filial no matter what, even when they’re a victim of physical and emotional abuse, is the doctrine they wish to follow, then sure, we are in no position to judge if that is truly what makes them happy and gives them meaning.
My point is this: You have to think for yourself, make a decision, and live with it. Even if the outcome isn’t as ideal as you thought it would be, I can assure you that you would at least not have regrets and even grow from the experience, because you exercised your autonomy and made that decision on your own volition.
My industry, as well as other industries like coaching, has a peculiar habit of telling you what you need to think and how you should think. Let’s take my industry for example:
- Many practitioners out there will try to convince you that Feng Shui items work. The bullshit logic applied is that, “Hey, since it works for others, it must work for you too.”
- Older generation practitioners will tell you, “They are your parents. If you’re not filial, you will be cursed.” Says the older generation practitioners who have lived a cursed life and probably weren’t very filial themselves. They didn’t study hard and ended up doing fengshui – and I’m sure that’s considered unfilial in their generation.
- Others will imply that more money means a better life for you, and somehow sitting in a meditative pose while facing a certain direction, and praying to an asteroid is going to help you manifest your dreams.
- Some out there will keep exclaiming that you need to heal, when what truly needs healing is their narcissism and fragile ego, because if you keep thinking you need to heal from something, you will never heal.
It sometimes feels like we’re in a decentralised cult, and we don’t even know.
Let me take a more recent example, which infuriated me quite a bit, and I feel is relevant for this blog post. Please refer to the embedded Instagram post below:
Imagine being in a world where we need some baffoon to convince you that instead of judging a minor-assaulting sex offender for who he is, we need to somehow reflect on ourselves for being sinful, judgemental sons of bitches. This muppet then goes on to grandstand himself by saying astrology, or BaZi, shouldn’t be used as a tool to criticise but should be used with compassion.
Imagine being the parent of the victim and reading something like that. But, oh gawd… I am, so, so ashamed of myself, for I have met the physical embodiment of compassion itself but wasn’t expecting it to be in the form of a dipshit TikTok streaming f engshui master.
If someone’s chart can tell me he’s going to be an abusive, minor-assaulting piece of garbage, you can be assured I will use BaZi to judge, protect my loved ones, and whatnot. I think people forget that it’s losing your autonomy that allows cults where the founders abuse their followers to form, and for fengshui masters like the above to make you as stupid as he is.
Autonomy is not something you need permission to have. You were born with it, and it can be exercised at any point in your life, although to be fair, most likely when you have matured as an adult. But even so, there will be people who are unable to exercise it:
I’m going to use an example I’ve come across in recent times. To be clear, I have no vendetta against the client above, and trust me, I’ve seen many cases like this before. If you are not happy with the marriage, that’s fine. I understand. You go on to have an affair, which I also understand, and it’s ‘fine’ because you made a choice. I would assume someone has an affair to make up for what the marriage is lacking and see it as an attempt to find some form of happiness. But alas, someone is not happy with the marriage and refuses to divorce, but at the same time is not happy with the affair he or she is having, yet hangs on to the affair while remaining unhappy with everything.
Suppose this client had told me that she was happy with the state of things, and both her husband and the affair partner were also pleased with the arrangement. Then, I would be happy for them, and she wouldn’t have become my client in the first place because life’s good when you have two husbands. Turns out, she is unhappy with the suspected affair her husband was having, while being in an affair herself. In an ‘ideal’ world, they would all just come together and have orgies regularly, and hopefully, everyone will finally be f***ing happy AF.
Where do we even begin to talk about transcending charts when one has autonomy but refuses to exercise it? Anyway, the client above has finally made a decision, and I wish her all the best.
The lack of autonomy, in my opinion, has severe repercussions – but only if you allow it to. Let me use a case study I’ve done before as an example:
Low-IQ dipshit fengshui masters aside. Suppose we live in a world where all males grow up to think that Andrew Tate’s worldview and what it means to be a man is the way to go – what would that kind of world look like? Why are some men letting a misogynist like Andrew Tate think for them and letting him decide what’s important in their lives, and how women should be treated? I also want to take this opportunity to mention that there are many other Andrew Tates out there.
I won’t be presumptuous and say that there are female versions of Andrew Tate, because misogyny and misandry cannot be reduced to a simple form of a gender swap. What do I mean? Misogyny in a modern-day context sees women being the victim of violence, and you saying there is a female version of Andrew Tate out there is unfair because it’s not an issue men face.
In any case, let’s stay gender-neutral here.
I won’t delve into a specific piece of content and try to dissect it, other than to say that I disagree with much of the content out there. Yes, it’s everyone’s right to express their opinions and post them on social media for clicks and engagement, and my gripe isn’t with that. I’m approaching this from the perspective of the consumer and the person who gives away their autonomy without even bothering to ask themselves if there’s anything wrong or whether they agree with it.
I get that personal empowerment and knowing your value are important, but if we’re going to take such a one dimensional view on things and apply some new-age, fluffy, shallow principles like, “If you’re not your spouse’s boss, then you’re his or her bitch”, or “Men love toxic women.”, or that you have to “reject emotional vulnerability” or “make women jealous to maintain their interest.” I feel that it’s going to cause way more problems than people realise, and I don’t think I need to spend time elaborating why, because I respect everyone’s intelligence enough not to have to explain myself.
There is a wealth of content available on personal empowerment, and it has effectively become a business. Content on the nuances of being a man and a woman (I’m not in a position to comment on the female perspective, of course) is all over the place. Some are great, but some are just downright concerning, and I wouldn’t want my children to grow up and buy into whatever it is these people are posting on Instagram and TikTok. The polarisation of gender roles to the point where it’s as though we are at war with the opposite gender is not something I appreciate. Don’t forget – I am about the dance of Yin and Yang, and we are nothing without each other.
If the other gender is such a hassle for you to handle that you have to come up with all these weird notions of how a partner should be pursued, do the world a favour and just stay single, because wouldn’t that be the wisest thing to do, especially when you’re so woke and so wise?
Now, the worrying thing here is that some of these content creators have followers in the hundreds of thousands, and many young, impressionable people look up to them. Having these individuals grow up believing in some of these warped perspectives is something we should all think about.
Everyone knows I hate using myself as an example, but let me bring up my embarrassing teenagehood and younger adulthood. I present to you one of the most popular books from my days as a pubescent teen and a young adult, who had no idea what it meant to build a fulfilling relationship, or even a friendship.
I’m sure somewhere along the way, people around my age have heard of this book:
For a virgin with raging hormones, hawt damn, this book was the bible of getting laid and arguably one of the most interesting books a guy can pick up. I wasn’t the only one who read it – my entire class of boys read it, and we thought this was what it meant to be an attractive male that girls would be interested in.
Looking back, I feel a sense of second-hand embarrassment for my younger self. Writing this blog post actually got me to look up the author again, and all that dating advice still didn’t save him from getting divorced. Andrew Tate, on the other hand, will probably die alone, along with his mommy issues.
I’m speaking entirely from a man’s perspective here.
There was a particularly misguided phase in my life, and I’m sure it’s the same for many others, where I thought finding a partner and falling in love was about playing mind games, signalling my value, and so on. Sure, I think this dance between two people and the butterflies you feel are great, but it cannot just be about that, in my opinion.
I deal with and listen to other people’s relationship issues all the time – it comes with the job – and I even screen the online dates for my female friends. I hear horror stories all the time. The thing is, if a man is going to read a book like the above and believe that you can only attract someone by playing games, ‘negging’ women (an act of emotional manipulation to undermine their confidence), and whatever – then I guess I’m always going to have an endless supply of clients wondering why their love life is shit.
I hope people realise that it was when I learned to stop playing games and value myself, in the sense that I am not going to lie about my past or pretend I don’t have issues, that I got the marriage I have today. There is no game-playing. I’m interested in getting to know and connecting with you, and if you are too, let’s see where it goes. Life is already very tough. Two people should not come together to make it tougher.
My point is this: Please be very careful of what you consume or believe in because it has consequences. What you believe in ultimately affects your actions, and your actions will have consequences. You and I know it as karma – which is a bitch. It’s really as simple as that. Think or feel a certain way, and there will be a certain effect.
If you genuinely feel that using someone else’s template in life is going to lead to inner peace and happiness, by all means, do so. As long as you are OK with the outcome, no one has the right to judge.
Astrology & Autonomy
I never, ever felt that astrology or Chinese metaphysics was a fixed set of rules for you to follow in hopes that it would lead you to happiness or where you want to be. I don’t think it’s as reductive as saying, “Your chart says this, that’s why you do that.” There is no template in the form of a sequence of actions you should take because every chart and every life is unique.
I may be able to interpret your chart and understand your psyche, what drives you, and the themes behind the events, but I will never know the exact physical manifestation the chart will eventually translate into. Only the Creator will know that. Please remember this: There is absolutely no one else out there who has lived your life, experienced your reality, and can fully comprehend what you have gone through. I wouldn’t say that there’s “no one out there who will know what’s best for you” because we can all do with some good advice from close friends from time to time, but you should not assume that someone out there has a template that can fit your life.
You should not rely on astrology to tell you what and how to think, although it can certainly guide you to make autonomous choices, for which you must be ready to accept the consequences.
This is an over-simplified example, but suppose you have a Moon in Scorpio or Cancer, and your Moon is even a bit debilitated, and you are emo AF. How you wish to deal with this emo AF-edness is completely up to you. The point is you take the one step in exercising your autonomy, give it a try, and if something doesn’t work, try something else. You may want to try a Caocao Ceremony to heal, or consider therapy, or pick up a hobby that allows you to express yourself, or even start an OnlyFans account. It is entirely up to you as long as you know what’s good for you.
But if living an effective life to you means to give your power and autonomy to some dumbass Feng Shui master trying to sound woke and pretending to be nice when his agenda is to feel importand and sell you an item for money, well, good luck. But to be fair to you, the reader, if you truly believe that Feng Shui items are your ticket to a better life, then be my guest, and I wish you well. Let’s just hope that’s not some warped belief someone else drilled into you.
If You Let Others Decide What And How To Think – Then What Are You?
I need to make it very, very clear again – that my job is never, ever to tell people what to think or how to think and perceive the world. I will, by all means, show you how I think, but you don’t need to agree with me because it is not my life, and I frankly do not care. What worked for me might not work for you, but if you feel it might work, great, give it a try – but only after you’ve thought it through, because a blind application of anything is also meaningless.
People often ask me whether they can transcend their charts, which I fully understand because we all want a better life. However, wouldn’t you agree that to do so, you need to have at least some autonomy? Because, without autonomy, how are you even going to understand what drives you and your actions, and then go about changing them when they don’t work for you?
There might be some universal truths out there that will stand the test of time, and if that’s the case, all the more reason that you don’t need others to tell you what and how to think. That form of knowledge and mode of living is out there for you to learn, acquire, and apply. I believe you will know what and how to think once you discover what these universal truths are. Autonomy here can still apply because you’re free to choose how you wish to apply and express these universal truths.
Humans being humans, we either tend to think we know what these universal truths are, or we think there’s someone out there who knows these universal truths. Social media has allowed people to parade themselves as experts on these truths when they are just as clueless, which is why we have a Feng Shui master who thinks he is wise by sympathising with a minor-assaulting sex offender, and perhaps why so many people have superficial mariages where connecting with your own partner is impossible because they wish to believe some YouTube or TikTok video.
And no, I’ve not quite figured out what these universal truths are either, although astrology and Chinese metaphysics do give me a good framework to work with.
Life Is Absurd
Many of us were told that if we study hard and get good grades, our lives will be good. Well, I can say to you as an astrologer who has spoken to thousands that it is absolutely jackshit. We were told what to believe since young – good grades, probably a good job, probably a good spouse, and probably happiness. Probably. I am curious how many people baulked upon reading this archaic notion that plagued us through our childhood.
Well, if I may ask, how is that working out for you? We grew up being told what to believe in, and now that you’re an adult, you still want to be told how and what to think?
Everyone knows by now that philosophy has been a huge part of my life and one of the areas where I derive some entertainment from. I wish I had started appreciating it sooner; I wish schools taught it; and I wish more people gave it a chance.
Albert Camus has been my favourite philosopher of late. Known as the father of absurdist philosophy, he is best known for his concept of the absurd, in which he explores the tension between humanity’s search for meaning in a world that is inherently meaningless and devoid of inherent purpose. Absurdism appeals to my irreverent side. I like that it mocks life and existence itself, and there is some dark humour behind life viewed through an absurdist lens. He did not write about autonomy explicitly, but I would argue there were some undertones of it in his writing.
The first thirty years of my life were definitely absurd. Every day felt like a “what the hell is this all for, and why am I here” moment. Now that everything has changed, funnily enough, the same question is still very much relevant. I now have everything I’ve ever dreamed of – a job I love, a loving wife, and an adorable son – but there will come a point where I will lose them and part ways with them. Knowing that, what is it all for then?
Many of my clients are around my age, and my peers are at a stage in life where we are searching for meaning. It could be meaning in our suffering, or meaning in our mundane lives, where everyday life is akin to The Curse of Sisyphus. For those new to this tale, the Curse of Sisyphus is a story from Greek mythology where Sisyphus was cursed to push a massive boulder up a steep hill, only for it to roll back down, and he was forced to repeat this for eternity. The curse symbolises relentless, meaningless labour, which is very much like our lives, where we struggle to find purpose in our mundane, repetitive lives, and futile attempts to break free from the rat race.
Albert Camus has put an interesting spin on the Curse of Sisyphus in his 1942 essay “The Myth of Sisyphus”. The thought experiment is simple. What if Sisyphus is enjoying himself pushing the boulder up the steep hill for eternity because of his defiance, and creating purpose out of something so mundane was him exercising his autonomy? Maybe he was imagining the boulder as Zeus’ balls, and it hurt each time it rolled down.
Albert Camus famously said, “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” The act of you believing that Sisyphus was (or rather, is, since he’s probably still rolling that boulder) enjoying himself is you exercising your autonomy. If I may say so, and I am not trying to preach some universal truth here: But if you do not exercise your autonomy, wouldn’t your life be like The Curse of Sisyphus and be absolutely meaningless?
Tell your parents to f*** off. Expose your boss for sleeping with the pantry auntie. Quit that toxic job. Travel. Confess to your crush and then learn to deal with the bliss or pain after. Go for that dream job you’ve always wanted. Try anal (yes, you read that right).
I. Really. Don’t. F***ing. Care.
It is your life, your soul, and your autonomy. Bask in the glory of rebelling against life’s absurdities and enjoy the ride, because the last thing you should believe is that someone out there has it figured out, and Heaven’s forbid you are listening to this dogshit of a someone.
– Sean
P.S. For the record, I’ve never tried anal. But I intend to stay irreverent AF for the rest of my life.
