As I sit here thinking about what to write for my year-end ritual, I find myself at a loss. What’s there to write about, exactly?

My year-end posts are usually emotionally charged or cathartic, but I find myself feeling no strong emotions as I draft this one. I don’t see that as a bad thing, though. My year has been exhausting with parenting, but it’s also been one of the most peaceful I’ve had, given the routine and focus – which was, well, family.

It’s been a fruitful year, and I have nothing but gratitude for 2025. There wasn’t anything particularly remarkable, like a prominent media feature, career achievement, and whatnot. I don’t particularly care about those at this stage of my life. I don’t feel 2025 was meant to be about personal glory or achievements, and I’m glad it wasn’t.

2025’s focus has been mainly on family and revisiting my value systems. Who am I? What am I here for? What is the meaning of this?

Saturn transiting Pisces has given me a lot to think about because I am a Pisces-heavy chart after all. 2025 was also supposed to be my 刑太岁 and, thankfully, it wasn’t that bad of a year. Nothing calamitous happened other than the usual Cat. 4 disturbance. I’m tired but still in good health, and my loved ones are well. My life was pretty much similar to most others’, and I think that’s beautiful.

Don’t expect anything interesting in this post this time. I’m writing this mainly for myself, as always.

Fatherhood

Fatherhood was the best thing that ever happened to me. This is by far the most impactful event of my life in recent years.

There is something magical about parenthood that you cannot simply put into words. Sure, it’s love, but it’s the kind of love so pure and filled with hope and longing that it makes you realise being human, and perhaps a sentient being, is really, really beautiful. I sometimes ask myself why I can’t love my wife the way I love my son, and there’s a profound lesson in that question.

I never knew I could love someone so much, especially when this someone does nothing but take up your time and resources. But I guess that’s what love is. I was, of course, tested to my limit and my patience as well. It became pretty apparent what parts of myself I didn’t like and need to work on, and I will work on them as I always have.

Regardless, fatherhood is beautiful, and I’m loving every moment of it. As much as I can’t wait to see my son grow up, I am also missing every version of him. Every cute moment is so fleeting, and he might never blabber a word or react the way he did again. I wish I could capture every moment.

Love has always felt foreign to me since young for reasons I don’t need to repeat, and I am very fortunate to say I have never felt more love in my life. Do I deserve all this love from others? I hope I do. I think I do. Thankfully, as cliché as it sounds, it all started with learning how to love myself first.

Love is something I don’t talk much or rave about, although I arguably should. I guess I still find it a bit off to talk about it as a man because there is a certain image or persona to keep up. I don’t want to come across as the airy-fairy, “it’s all about love” type of person.

I am very, very grateful for all that I have now.

Marriage

Marriage was also the best thing that happened to me, and it’s as important to me as fatherhood – for obvious reasons. I’ve known my wife for almost ten years, and we’ve been married for six. Without the marriage, I wouldn’t be a father – and I wouldn’t feel as whole as I feel now.

She gave me such an adorable son! How beautiful is that?

I don’t wish to go into how much I love my wife and how much she means to me – I’ve done that before already. There shouldn’t be any doubt about how I feel towards marriage and my wife. That said, my marriage did grow, evolve, and mature. I hope no one here thinks that I am the perfect husband. I am definitely not. I am so utterly flawed that it’s shameful if I go into the details.

I’ve been seeing my wife in a different light ever since she became a mother. Seeing her navigate motherhood made me realise I wasn’t as capable as I’d thought, and that I wasn’t the better, stronger person. The kind of patience, tolerance, and sacrifice she showed is something I am not capable of. I hope to emulate it. For all the things I ‘preach’ about sometimes, seeing how my wife is and how she takes care of my son puts me to shame. I may be the one bringing back the bread, but sometimes I tend to forget why and for whom I’m bringing back the bread, and that’s something I hope to remind myself more of.

I always tell my wife that my biggest regret, as silly as it sounds, is that I am not capable enough to make her more comfortable. A bigger house and helpers would be lovely. It would make her life so much easier. As the supportive wife she is, she tells me that’s not important as long as the family is well and happy.

I have little to say other than that I hope to learn to love my wife more with each passing year and to support her as best I can. Of course, I still hope to give her that bigger house and ease her burden so that she can enjoy her life more.

Family

Why do we seek out a partner? Why do we choose to bring life into this world? I find myself pondering over such questions sometimes not out of skepticism but out of fascination and curiosity.

I try not to overthink it, other than to see it as a natural progression of life to embrace when I get there. Of course, I’d never thought I would actually get there – but I did. The journey there was meaningful, and the fruits at the end are equally so. I never thought I could love anyone more than my wife, and then my son came, and I find myself loving them both more than I could have imagined.

Family truly is everything. Love is something I am still unravelling, because I don’t know whether to tell myself it is a mere chemical hijacking of the brain, or something with intrinsic existence, just there for us to experience in our physical form.

There is a quiet, profound solace in knowing your roots run deep.

Friends

“Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.”

Friends will always have a dedication of their own because they’re my chosen family and the family I never had. I wish I had more time for them, and I hope they know how much they mean to me, even without me saying.

You know, I didn’t grow up with good friends because of the way things were and who I was, but I’ve been really fortunate to make up for that as I’ve grown older. My life and the course of my work have allowed me to meet many great people whom I now call friends, and as I’ve always said, they’ve made my life so, so much more colourful and filled with laughter.

I will always be guided by Aristotle’s discourse on friends, which is that friendships of virtue are the only kinds worth keeping. I want friends who make me a better person.

Work

There’s a lot I could say about work, and everyone should know this blog is mainly dedicated to that. Nothing I’ve said in my previous year-end posts has changed, although yes, I am still evolving and always will. I once said I’ll never do this full-time, but alas, I eventually did.

The people I get to meet are the best part of my job. I’ve seen the best and worst in humanity, and I know you believe me when I say something like that. I’ve learned many lessons through them, and they remind me to be grateful for what I have.

When it comes to work, I need people to understand that, at the end of the day, I am still a Buddhist and my Piscean side is an idealist. But lo and behold, and I am pretty Saturn-heavy as well, which is why I have a realistic side as well, and it is this tension between my idealistic side and realist side that makes me feel so strongly about certain things, and why I have both a light and a dark side.

“It shouldn’t be this way.”

“Things could have been different.”

“Why? Just. Why?”

The side you see online is, most of the time, just a persona, and I hope people are savvy enough to see that, because you would feel like a different person was writing all these blog posts. There are moments where the persona isn’t actually a persona because I have moments where I ask why someone was given a chance at life, or morally corrupt but having it easier than those who aren’t.

I don’t want to spend this blog post justifying who I am or how I do things, because that’s already been done.

It has been more than 10 years since I started doing this. Open your eyes, and please see what I have been trying to do for the industry and what I stand for. If you’ve seen what I’ve seen or met the people I have, you will understand.

Life

I do not have anything profound to say here, and even if I did, I believe I would have said it already.

2025 has made me realise how fleeting life is. Thankfully, I wasn’t reminded of that through loss and anguish, but by the beauty and warmth I have experienced. I will never see my son crawl again or say a particular word in that adorable, mispronounced way again. I will never get back the time I should have had with my wife and friends.

Of course, I will be hitting the big 40 next year. Funnily, it feels like life has just begun.

I’ve said this before: But most people live as though they’re going to be around forever. They think there will be more time to change and for second chances. I am here to remind you that you don’t.

Why some people don’t realise this and continue to live in their dishonourable ways is something I will never understand. Telling them nicely doesn’t work, which is why I went with the ‘shock therapy’ method of bashing Cat. 4s all the time because it is fun, cathartic, and it gets the job done.

Life is very, very precious. I wish I had more time. I wish I could take back those first 28 years of my life before my Saturn Return.

The Best Part Of My Current 10-Year Phase Begins

I remember mentioning that my current 10-Year Phase is one of my best, if not the best, and that’s going to change everything. It started a bit rough, which I expected, but 2026 actually marks the beginning of the best part of my current 10-Year Phase.

Change is coming, and I can feel it in my bones. I suddenly find myself surrounded by S-Tier clients who wish to work with me. There are actually a lot of things going on behind the scenes that I could share, but I’ve been advised to keep it in the first and wait till the opportune time, which I shall.

I still look back and marvel at how crazy a ride it has been. I started doing this when I was 28, and I am turning 40. The 10-plus years have seen me go from a soft-spoken practitioner who had faith in humanity to a loud-mouthed, vulgar, and irreverent one who cannot stop berating Cat. 4s and HR because part of me has lost faith in humanity.

What a ride.

Whatever is happening now feels like fate is unwinding, and I can’t wait to see where it leads.

I am fortunate to be able. tosay this, and I say it proudly: I know who I am and what I am here for.

I can’t wait to see what the next few years bring.

I hope 2025 was meaningful for everyone in your own unique ways. Happy New Year!

– Sean