My gawd, Chinese New Year isn’t even here yet, but my oh my, the planets are delivering. Or should I say the planets are slaaaaaaying~! It’s as though the metaphorical snake tunnelled its way up into a horse’s ass and made it moan, squeal, and writhe in agony.

We live in a blessed-and-cursed age of A – the Blursed Age of AI. Because lo and behold, it has turned me into the artist I’ve always wanted to be.

Are you afraid of the Tai Sui? Nah, f*** that shit. Be afraid of the previous zodiac animal giving you a bigger asshole.

The universe is serving up some cosmic comedy that I cannot ignore.

I think everyone knows by now that my mind works in a bit of a twisted way, but this entire debacle was truly caused by something harder and someone’s higher calling. Right?

I’m sorry for the innuendos, but I cannot help but draw the link. My wife wonders why I look at my phone and just end up laughing like a maniac sometimes.

It’s not just this, but even the ‘best’ Feng Shui masters are delivering some synchronicity with their ‘forecasts’. I have no idea what in the f*** “rolling tongues” mean, but this is not the time to say something like that, especially when the stud I’m about to talk about is born during the year of the Rooster.

May I just add that the ‘forecast’ above sounds like it was written by someone with cognitive impairment. “Mood swings can be quite dramatic, affecting your mood.” I’ve never done forecasts before, but let me give it a go:

“Fatal accidents are quite deadly, affecting your life expectancy.”

“Blindness can be visually limiting, impacting your ability to see.”

“Insomnia is very tiresome, keeping you awake.”

“History is very old, happening in the past.”

“The future is upcoming, happening tomorrow.”

“Water is the essence of wetness, making you wet.”

“Solitude is lonely, leaving you by yourself.”

I’m such a bloody failure and shame to our ancestors for not being able to write such, such meaningful forecasts.

Who wrote the forecast above? It’s none other than my client-turned-master and also a child molester sympathiser and virtue signaller.

He’ll always be the biggest joke of the industry to me, followed by the pink paper practitioner who climbs on tables.

It’s All The Acoustics Fault

Now, irrelevance aside, I want to make it clear, for legal reasons especially, that this post is not intended to cause distress, defame, or break any law. The truth is already out there: Reddit is blowing up, and birthdays are public and widely known by realtors, and even searchable on ChatGPT and Google Gemini. Everyone’s salaries and even calendars are posted on Reddit, and it will probably stay up there forever, and I won’t repost them here.

If you still don’t know which case I’m referring to, well, please just refer to the feature image. Unfortunately for these two, I’m going to jump on the bandwagon too. I don’t like the idea of my blog turning into some tabloid corner, but this is just too wild not to write about. A part of me does pity (not sympathise with) them, but I’m sure we all agree that they deserve it.

I’ll admit, whenever I write these posts, a large part of it is that the tea is amazing. Another part of it is whether all these events are fated and canonical? The astrology in me needs to find out. Perhaps it will do society some good.

The CEO Who Made Someone Scream Louder – Sorry, Calling Higher. (Same Lah~!)

I’m going to start off by first saying, what a goddamn pity, because this fella here actually has quite a good BaZi chart. It’s technically under a 食神生财格, but not a qualified one unless his 运 comes in to support his weak Daymaster. Such charts stand a really good chance of becoming successful entrepreneurs, which he arguably is, and he has the blessing of several positive 10-Year Phases. His 乙未， and especially 甲午 10-Year Phase, will see him accumulate a massive amount of wealth because his Daymaster will finally be strong enough to uphold 食神生财格。

One trait I wish to point out about his chart is his wife. His 辛 Metal 正财 is “rooted”. From his chart, you can tell that the wife is extremely capable, homeschooling all her children, and supporting “He Who Makes You Scream Louder” (but with what, though?). The most important part of his chart supporting his Daymaster is the 寅 Day Branch, which also happens to be the Marriage Sector. This 寅 Branch holds 甲 Wood, 丙 Fire, and even 戊 Earth, which is his 食神。I don’t know this guy or his wife at all, but from his charts, you can tell his wife played a massive role in his success by being the pillar of support in the family, and also his safe harbour.

If I were to bring in his Zi Wei Dou Shu chart, his having 贪狼 in his 命宫 means 天府 will surely be in his 夫妻宫， and 天府 is one of the best stars to have in 夫妻宫 because it is extremely stable. There is one small flaw: 铃星 sits in there with it.

His Zi Wei Dou Shu chart structure is under 廉贞 + 贪狼 in the same sector. Both these stars are Peach Blossom (桃花) stars. Being born under 廉贞 and 贪狼 doesn’t automatically make you a cheater. The complication here is that he has 文昌化忌 and 天马 in there, which brings out the negative side of his 桃花。

It’s not difficult to see why s*** blew up this year for him. I won’t go into the technicalities for now.

Coming back to his BaZi chart, “He Who Makes You Scream Louder” is in his 癸巳 10-Year Phase now. This is where the signs become louder and clearer.

For the first time in his 运， Yang Metal 庚金 shows up as 偏财. Basic BaZi theory tells you that 偏财 is the one who screams very loud the third party. 巳 here forms 寅巳刑， which in his case is extremely severe because of the specific Pillars involved. Yang Metal within his 10-Year Phase’s 巳， harms the 甲 Wood represented by 寅, and remember, 寅 is his Marriage Sector.

May I just remind you: We are still technically in 乙巳 year.

I’m just going to put down what comes up as interesting to me:

• He has a very active 4th House, which is related to real estate. This chart basically screams “real estate career”. The 10th House (Career) Ruler is Mars, which lands in his 2nd House of Finances, which is a great placement for an entrepreneur.

I know, you don’t want to hear all this boring shit. You want to know why he made someone scream louder. Here’s what I see:

• I see Pluto conjunct the Sun.
• The Sun combusts Jupiter, and also puts Saturn Under The Beams (I’m sure he put someone else under a beam.)
• I see Mars square Uranus, and Uranus is in the 5th House of Scorpio.

The 6th House governs work, routines, and also subordinates and servants. The fact that Jupiter, the Ruler of the 6th House, is combust makes things very interesting. The Pluto conjunct Sun is a chart trait that gives a larger ego and a tendency toward power trips.

The 5th House is the house of romance, pleasure, and, you guessed it, casual sex (assuming no screaming). Mars rules his 5th, and Mars is squaring his Uranus. I won’t try to speculate, but theoretically speaking, the square is tension that needs to be released, and Uranus is a planet with themes of rebellion, sudden shocks, and a need for constant stimulation (wrong choice of words here).

Now, I want to be fair to this person. I know he did something wrong, but let’s find out why.

I’ve noticed that his Moon is conjunct Chiron and Eros, even. To put it simply, there are wounds related to emotions and love, and I can tell immediately from his BaZi that he had a very tough start to life. His first 10-Year Phase saw 申酉戌三会金局 forming, and his second one saw 寅申冲 form. I don’t know anything about his past, but it seems to me that he did not have a safe environment to grow up in.

His Moon, conjunct Chiron and Eros, needs healing, and because these are in Taurus, Venus has influence over it. Venus rules his 4th House too, where a lot of his planets are. His Venus is in his 6th House. You could say he poured his wounds into work, but you can also say he poured himself into his subordinate. These wounds feel like they can only be healed when extremely intense emotions are involved, basically, such as falling in love again, being desired, etc.

Remember Jupiter rules his 6th House and is combust by the Sun? Combust and being Under The Beams often means something is hidden or out of sight. His Jupiter and Saturn are both affected, and one represents his subordinate, while the other represents his wife.

Now, why did everything blow up so spectacularly? His BaZi explains it via the two 巳 Fire harming his 寅 Day Branch, and mind you, 伤官见官 also forms. As for his Western chart transits:

I will keep it very simple:

• Saturn conjunct Neptune is arguably the most significant transit in the cosmos right now. The conjunction happens exactly in Aries, which is his 10th House of Career and Reputation, and where his Medium Coeli is.
• Pluto, Mars, Venus, Mercury and Sun are all in his 8th House right now, having a f***ing orgy right now. The 8th House is the House associated with personal transformation and also sex. Pluto has a reputation for stripping away what’s inauthentic and not working.
• His 11th House transits look interesting, too, because I see Moon and Eros back there, and Uranus is also having fun there.
• Jupiter, being in Cancer, triggers his Moon, along with Chiron and Eros. It will force him to address his wounds.

I think the main transit responsible for him being exposed is Neptune conjunct Saturn, because Neptune rules Pisces, which Jupiter rules too, and we know Jupiter represents his subordinate. His natal Neptune also happens to be in his 6th House.

Now, again, I want to be fair to this person, and I am genuine about this, not because I am afraid of the legal repercussions of this post. (You can try tell the judge astrology is real, and I’d like to see what the judge says.)

There is a side of him that is the responsible husband and father, and I attribute this to his exalted Saturn in his 4th House. I’m sure he did provide very well for his family. When I look at his chart, again, it feels like someone who needs a lot of healing when it comes to his emotional vulnerability and safety. I’ve seen a lot of charts where Moon conjuncts Chiron, and the Wounded are deeper, but the complication for him here is Eros. Before I forget, Eros governs raw erotic desire, passionate love, the “sex drive,” and intense attraction.

Let’s move on to dessert.

She Really Should Not Have Screamed So Loud

I gotta admit, when I first laid eyes on this chart, I laughed out loud because I could immediately understand why things turned out the way they did.

This is no doubt a strong Yang Metal (庚金) chart, and it’s also a 魁罡贵人 chart, making it very masculine. This is also a 魁罡贵人逢刑冲 chart, unfortunately. There is a saying in BaZi 「魁罡冲刑小人身」。 I think everyone knows what I am getting at here.

Now, I know Yang Metal charts extremely well, and such charts will always need Yang Wood 甲 and Yin Fire 丁 to show up. Now, this chart shows absolutely no 甲 Wood, which means her earning capacity should be low. However, from 2022 to 2024 there were some strong traces of Yang Wood, which is probably why she secured such a good salary in her short stint there.

Yin Fire 丁 is severely and utterly f***ed in his chart. Yin Fire is also the Spouse Element, and her Day Branch/Marriage Sector is also affected by 丑戌刑, where Yin Fire is further harmed. What this means should be obvious.

This chart also has a latent 伤官见官 waiting to trigger, and if you pay attention to her 10-Year Phase, she is in her 癸丑 10-Year Phase right now, so 伤官见官 triggers. Yin Fire is utterly f***ed.

I don’t want to say too much because it will look like I am trying to character assassinate her, but the 魁罡贵人逢刑冲 and 伤官见官 should say enough. Reddit has enough posts with her stories about how she can earn more than senior management in just a few years, and her other trysts and adventures, which I will not reiterate.

Her next 10-Year Phase starts in 2028, which is her 甲寅 10-Year Phase. Before anyone thinks this is going to be her turning point and superb phase, please notice the 「空」there and think again.

The chart is interesting because of the Sagittarius Stellium in the 10th House. This is likely the part of her chart that makes her such a go-getter. The pity here is that Jupiter is in the 12th House, almost conjunct Uranus, so the means of achieving her 10th House Career aims will have 12th House and Uranus themes, and we know 12th House themes are things that are hidden, secretive, and Uranus is unconventional.

Jupiter is in Aquarius, meaning Saturn is its dispositor. Her Saturn is in the 2nd House, Aries, and Saturn does not like to be here, which I’ve said many times. Saturn loses its virtues of patience, structure, and lawfulness in Aries, and the 2nd House is the House of finances and personal values.

If you string all these together, you might start to understand why she functions the way she does. Go-getter, but at any cost. It paints the same story as her 魁罡贵人 and 伤官见官 because clearly, lines were crossed.

Her Sagittarius Stellium is interesting because her Mars, Moon, and Venus are there. All the planets associated with love, sex, and drive are there. Moon rules her 5th House, and Venus rules her 8th, so yes, more screaming. Mars rules her 2nd and 9th, governing money and personal beliefs, and her Sun, conjunct Chiron, is even in her 9th House.

To put it simply, she is definitely a go-getter with something to prove, but 心机 is perhaps a little 重。

The reason why things blew up spectacularly for her as well is that Saturn conjunct Neptune is happening in her 1st House, right at her Ascendant. Neptune was in Pisces for a while, so if anyone felt like she was able to put up an illusion for her persona, this is why. Note that Neptune will influence her 10th House planets as well.

Saturn conjunct Neptune basically strips away the illusion, and I guess exposed her.

Why Did She Scream So Loud?

Look at that her Moon Trine his Mars; and look at his Mars Trine her Moon, Venus, and Mars.

That is all I am going to say.

The Objective, Mature Way To Look At This

Alright, time for a more serious perspective.

First and foremost, for all you know, I might have gotten the birth details wrong, and I’m just hallucinating.

At the end of the day, I feel for the children the most. That’ll always be the case. My purpose as an astrologer is not to judge unless the situation really calls for it, and if I do have to judge, I hope I am doing something good. If Melvin were my friend and he came to me for advice, I would have told him to bail and stay away from someone with a chart like that. I’m sure he’s a smart guy, but unfortunately, someone got to him where it felt most raw (OK, this was unintentional).

This is a chart of a man who had a tough start to life and probably still needs some healing, but could only find it in such unconventional ways that put his family’s stability at risk. Let’s be fair to him – he’s not the only one who is like that, but unfortunately, he’s more high profile. Anyone who keeps getting into toxic and intense relationships is struggling with the same issue because it is that intensity that validates a need you never addressed.

This need was addressed by someone who is clearly ambitious and willing to go to any length to achieve her ambitions. It’s hard to say what the karmic lessons here are, but to be fair to this lady, I have no doubts she has her fair share of trauma to deal with, and it manifested in unhealthy ways and needs to be dealt with.

All these will be forgotten someday. Hopefully, everyone heals and moves on from this, and the children will be OK.

If there’s anything to take away from all of this, perhaps it’s this.

Live to make the right person scream?

– Sean