Hey everyone! I finally found some time to blog again! Quite honestly, there’s nothing I enjoy more about my sideline than blogging. I can’t quite understand why, but I really just enjoy writing about something I have an affinity for.
I wrote about BaZi compatibility quite some time ago and introduced how a proper analysis is done usually. There’s one thing I realized I didn’t cover and it’s been a question that’s been cropping up quite often during my consultations these days, which is whether or not it’s taboo to date or marry people from certain zodiacs signs – those that have a have form of negative relationship with one’s zodiac sign in particular.
Zodiac compatibility is one of those topics just as misconstrued and ludicrous as zodiac forecasts.
If you’re been reading up on this field on your own, you would have probably come across the terms like ‘combination’ (合), ‘clash’ (冲), ‘punishment’ (刑) and ‘harm’ (亥)。The common myth is that you should only date people from the zodiacs you have a ‘combination’ (合) with. For example, if you were a Tiger like myself, you do best with Horses, Dogs and Pigs because these three zodiacs have a ‘combination’ (合) relationship with Tiger. On the flip side, it’s been advised that you stay away fro m zodiacs that have a ‘clash’, ‘punishment’ and ‘harm’ relationship. For example, someone under a Rate zodiac would have to avoid Horses (‘clash’), Rabbits (‘punishment’) Goat (‘harm’).
Now, I think I need to bring everyone back down to Earth and remind everyone that this art is called ‘BaZi’ for a reason – there are 8 characters. This is not ‘YiZi’ (一字) where there’s only one character or the ‘Half Pillar Of Destiny’ where you only take half a Pillar into account. It’s not even a full Pillar! You’re not going to be able to reach any conclusion just by looking at one Branch (地支) in the chart. Fine, there is a clash in the Year Branch which represents your zodiac – so what? The reason why I write all these entries to debunk myths is because I hope I can bring back from rigour into this field. It’s not a good thing that the masses are constantly misled, and it’s worse when self-proclaimed ‘masters’ are continuing to propagate it further.
Yes, there’s a technique in compatibility analysis where you match two chart’s BaZi and see if their respective Stems and Branches clash with each other, meaning, one’s Year Stem/Branch should not clash with the other’s Stem/Branch, and so on and so forth for the Month, Day and Hour Pillars as well. This technique is legit and I personally use it myself, but bear in mind this is only one technique out of the many other techniques that exist. There is no ‘template technique’ that we can apply to all cases. Whenever we assess two charts, it has to be through a combination of factors which I pointed out in my previous post on BaZi compatibility.
The reason why practitioners in the past do not like to see clashes in the charts is because clashes naturally do imply there’s conflict, but perhaps conflict here is too strong a word. Society was very different back in the olden days. Men and women weren’t treated equally and subservience was seen as a virtue for women. This is the reason why practitioners in the olden days did not want see clashes in the charts, because why complicate things when you can throw two people together and they can just agree on everything? One thing to understand is that whereas the laws of metaphysics do not change, the application and interpretation of it must adapt to the times. We can’t exactly use the lens and framework of how charts were assessed backed then and still insist on using it now in the 21st century. All of what Chinese metaphysics is today originated from the ‘Book of Change’ (易經), and you can argue that metaphysics itself is the study of change, but bear in mind there will also be some things that don’t change which is part of what we call this ‘The Three Types of Change’ (三易) – 簡易 (observable laws)、變易 (emergence and complexity) and 不易 (the unchangeable). Basically, what I’m trying to say is that if we still use the standards of the past to assess charts, it would completely screw up someone’s life. The core of what metaphysics is about would have been lost.
From my experience and observations, people with charts with clashes do tend to have very different style of doing things. Intrinsically, there is nothing wrong with this, and as long as you can accept it, everything’s actually fine. Yes, sometimes such differences lead to conflict and quarrels, but sometimes it’s also through these things that we grow as an individual. Of course, some of us prefer a more smooth-sailing kind of relationship where there aren’t any need for debates, but common sense tells us that every relationship will have its challenges and there’ll be a need to compromise. Besides, having a relationship where you get too comfortable can have it’s downsides too.
One Branch clash in the chart isn’t going to spell doom for the relationship. You still need to assess things like:
- The quality of the charts on it’s own. We can bring too extremely low quality charts together and say that are compatible because they seem meant for each other – albeit in a bad way. (Sorry for the dark humour, but you get what I mean.)
- Whether the charts have elements that the other chart needs which I mentioned in my previous post on BaZi compatibility.
- What are the Elemental Phases that the couples will go through.
If I wanted things to be even more complex, let’s just go through into using Zi Wei Dou Shu (紫微斗數) and assess exactly where and how the challenges in the relationship will come. I usually focus on the quality of the individual’s BaZi chart first, because I know if one’s BaZi chart is of a good quality, things like relationships will come naturally and a good BaZi chart gives us an idea of how well a person can handle his or her life. You can read my post on good BaZi charts vs bad BaZi charts to get an idea of what I’m talking about. As much as part of my wants to believe in true love and being there for each other’s struggles, the balanced view is that sometimes it’s hard to enjoy the relationship and allow it to bring you to greater heights when one has not sorted out his or her own life yet. Starting a family together is a huge responsibility and it’s no easy feat.
Trying to compress all that metaphysics is into something as absurd as assessing compatibility just based on one’s zodiac is something I’m personally quite against. Why does everyone still do it then and why do some practitioners keep speaking of matching zodiacs? Well, because saying those stuff, as opposed to reading long wordy blog posts like mine, is much easier and gets more attention. I’ve seen couples with clashing Zodiacs who are perfectly happy together because they embrace the change and different perspective each other brings into the relationship. And trust me, I’ve seen enough charts to know what I’m talking about. We no longer live in a society where men and women don’t get a chance to interact and marriages are arranged for us. If you wish to have someone with a perfectly matching BaZi, then go get an arranged marriage. If not, keep quiet and deal with life like a grown up.
Relax ladies and gentlemen. Just cause your zodiac doesn’t ‘match’ doesn’t mean it’s the end of your relationship. But if you happen to have a challenging BaZi chart, well, that’s a different story for another time. You won’t believe the amount of gibberish and balderdash there is on the internet, so please watch out for what you allow yourself to be influence by because if you don’t, it’s going to mess up your life quite a bit if you’re not careful. Who knows? You might miss out on the love of your life.
P.S. I just crossed the 600 charts mark by the way everyone! Can’t believe I’ve done that amount of professional readings. Taking a while to let that sink in… Skeptics! Feel free to wager on my claim.